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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Two shall be One ~ Stop Stewing

(This was originally posted at CWO, I added it here so that I would have it in my files for any of your searching through old posts)

My husband and I have been married for 20 blissful, uneventful years!
I interrupt this figment of my imagination for a dose of reality.
Marriage is not always fun.
Marriage is work!
Marriage is sacrifice.

We’ve been on mountaintops and spent our fair share of time in the valley. I think we’ve also experienced a few times on the sea of life, while a typhoon was roaring through.In this life, nothing worth having comes easy. There is always a price to pay.What I have learned about marriage is that the price to pay has to begin with me.I would like to say that HE (hubby) holds all the responsibility as the leader of the home…and say that if he would just get his act together, things would be fine.*grin*I learned the hard way that is not true.

More often than I'd like to admit, I’m the problem. In fact, there are times when we are in a storm and he doesn’t even seem to notice. Can you believe that?!

How can he just go on as if nothing has happened when he so obviously trampled all over my heart and I am laying here bleeding all over the laundry.I’m being silly, but seriously…I have spent more hours of my day stewing over something that he did or said that completely offended me and he never even realized that he did it. The argument (that we’re not even having) could be over with and I could stop slamming cupboard doors if I would just let it go.

I looked up the Webster's definition of 'stewing' and it be in a state of suppressed agitation, worry, or resentment

Yes, that would pretty much sums it up.I believe that the strongest marriages are made up of two "forgivers."Forgive. (Didn’t we talk about that 2 weeks ago??)
I hear you…you’re saying…”oh HE knew what he did, and he meant to do it!”

Well, so what if that IS true?(I heard you gasp.)I’m just going to say it again…SO?So what?

If I choose to let it go, it could be over with. Life could more on. In fact, I could act like it never even happened and possibly have a wonderful day. My kids would be happier, my cupboards would be happier, and I will have done what it takes to make my marriage better/stronger- sacrifice.

Let me just take a little break here and say, I love you all, really I do. I am telling you this because I know how hard this can be- I've lived it sister!
Please know that I am not pointing fingers... I am just sharing with you whathelped me!

Have you ever watched those shows on climbing Mt. Everest? I would never choose to by my own volition, but my husband loves them.
Do you know what these people go through to get to the mountain top???
Some sacrifice their life! Some of them die on the journey! Some lose fingers and toes or their noses turn black with frostbite.
None of them get to the top of that mountain easily or comfortably. They all suffer along the way.
Are you seeing the picture I’m painting?
The mountaintop does not come without sacrifice.

Being happily married does not come without sacrifice. Maybe you could not relate to any of my cupboard slamming situations, but I am sure that there have been times in your life when you have "stewed" on things instead of giving them over to God.....MY feelings were hurt, what about ME???

I have often thought that if I could just get “me” out of the way, things would go so much better for me.Yes, marriage is work, but I like to think about this verse when I consider the sacrifices that I have to make in my marriage.

Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if wedo not give up.
Isn’t that good news?! It’s not all dying and sacrifice…harvest comes! It’s our promise!Just don’t give up! Oh please don’t give up.

Psalms 30:5
Weeping may go on all night,but joy comes with the morning.

I think our nugget to hold on to this week is: stop stewing!
Let it go, forgive! Yes, that can be hard work, but it's worth it.
A harvest of joy awaits.

I am praying for our marriages!

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