God Understands the Tears of a Wife

Hello Ladies!

I'm posting over at the Internet Cafe' today:


God Understands the Tears of a Wife

But before you read it I want to emphasize something that I'm not sure I did well enough in that post...

The post is about how God will heal the heart of a woman no matter what situation she is in, but it is NOT saying that a woman should stay in a situation that is either verbally or physically abusive or one in which your spouse is living in adultery.

I don't want someone to read that and think...God will heal me so I need to stay here and continue to be abused. NO.

God will heal...He sees your tears, that is the heart of the post. The healing of a woman.

If you are in a painful relationship, I am so sorry. God is faithful, lean into Him.
Praying for you,
Sue

In Search of Security in Marriage

Hello!

I'm blogging at the 31 Days of Love at Darlene Schacht's blog.

I spent years allowing the emotions of my day to be hinged on how my husband talked to me and treated me. If I felt loved and accepted by him, it was a good day. But if I felt I had let him down or he was angry or disappointed with me about something, it was a bad day. I lived my life through his eyes. My security came from him alone.

Click here to read entire article.

The Summer Praise and Coffee Magazine!

The Summer 2011 issue is published!

Again, I am so touched by the stories of women who walked through the hard times and clung to the God who loves them.

From a mother who saw her daughter engulfed in flames.

To a wife who while working in the mission fields of Africa only to find that her husband had been cheating on her. That same husband working side by side with her to help aids victims.

And the mom who faced the painful fact that maybe there was more to the story when her young son didn't make eye contact with anyone else. Maybe he was autistic.

All the while God is bringing comfort and healing in the midst of these painful trials. And eventually these wonderful women find a reason to laugh and enjoy the journey that they are on.

Real women ~ real stories.


Another very exciting part of this issue is a new column by Melanie Shankle, some of you know her as 'big mama.'
She debuts her Fashion Cafe with us, sharing 10 darling pieces that would look great in our summer wardrobe.
You will love her picks and her adorable personality. And if by any chance you've never met her online, please visit her blog. big mama I promise you will love her. If not, you can call me a liar and take a sharp stick to my eye.

Sorry, I'm a little slap happy after being on the computer for the past 24 hours straight to finish the magazine on time.

So, enough listening to me- click on the cover to view the magazine!

And have a wonderful weekend.

Hot Topic ~ Infidelity

Hello Ladies!

Let's talk.

Here's a hot topic for us...

Infidelity.

In light of the recent news about Arnold and Maria and his failings in their marriage...what do you think?

Would you forgive and continue in your marriage?

At what point do you draw the line and say, I'm done.

Or, how do you walk out forgiveness?

My heart aches for those of you that have actually faced this form of betrayal. I believe it is one of the deepest hurts a woman can bear.

I pray that if it is you, you would find wholeness and healing in the arms of the Lord. He loves you. He is the answer to our brokeness.

So...without judgement or condemnation of how any woman would handle such a thing...how do you feel about it personally?

Let's chat about it...comment here or on FB.

Much love,
Sue

Guest Post: Sandy Coughlin ~ Reluctant Entertainer

I'm so thrilled to have Sandy guest posting today. We connected years ago when I first started blogging and I've watched God do amazing things with her ministry.
Her heart and passion is to help others find the lost art of hospitality and entertaining.

Of course this resonates with me as I love connecting and encouraging women also!
I wish Sandy didn't live on the other side of the country because I sure would love to have her cook an amazing meal for me have coffee with her and talk for hours!

Check out her website and grab her book "The Reluctant Entertainer ~every woman's guide to simple and gracious hospitality"

Family Unity, Marriage and Blogging
by Sandy Coughlin

Sue asked me to guest post today, and she knows me well because we've been following each others blogs for years now. I'd say we both believe in good, healthy, strong marriages and family unity.

Even if you say you know a perfect family – well guess what? You probably don’t know them very well.

Our family is not always in unity, but when it is — when my marriage is going great, I am meeting my children’s needs, we are spending time together, our family time around the dinner table is rich, our kids are on track and content, we are growing and living for God — then I am using my gifts wisely. That where blogging comes in ...

God has blessed me with a wonderful man. And the “center” of our growth as a couple comes from Him. But I recently told a friend that I gage where I am with my blog and priorities as a wife and a mother by using a barometer.

My barometer is this: How is this working within my marriage? And this is a question that we can ask ourselves about whatever we are passionate about.

If my marriage isn’t strong, then everything else seems to fall out of line.

• Is my husband in my corner? Is he in support of my passions?
• Am I making creative time for my marriage?
• Am I wowing! my husband and planning date nights?
• Does he know he’s the most important person to me (and my kids)?
• Is there tension or resentment between us?
• What is the tone when we are talking to each other?
• Am I always running off for girlfriend time?
• Am I listening to him?

If things are not good between us, these questions challenge me to get back on track. That is why I’ll sometimes say to a friend, how is this working for you and ? (hubs name here).

I’m tying this post to Reluctant Entertainer and blogging because I’ve learned that with entertaining, it can be a miserable event if I don’t have peace within my marriage and my family before it all begins.

It seems so empty if I barge ahead with plans if there is stress and strain in the home. It’s like walking into church and putting your “happy face on” when you just had a fight in the car with your husband!

Unity is important to me, as the hostess, to be real and open with my guests when they walk through the front doors. Real entertaining for real people.

How's the unity in your home, if you are married, and even (ouch! this could be a tough one) with the things that you are passionate about?

I’d love for you to share your thoughts!

Sandy Coughlin - Reluctant Entertainer
Twitter: SandyCoughlinRE
FB: Reluctant Entertainer

View her website: Reluctant Entertainer

What Husbands Want

Hello!
I want to tell you about an awesome site that has been doing a thought provoking series on "What Husband's Want."
The website is: The Generous Wife

The website is a wealth of information on marriage and has a companion site called The Generous Husband. The current article is titled, "The Other Intercourse"

You can also sign up to get encouraging emails for wives everyday.
Check them out today!

Also...a note that I will not be posting EVERY week on marriage but will still continue to post about it periodically.

If You Like Pina~ Coladas...

I heard the "Pina~ Colada" song the other day.

I know you all know it.

I'm not looking for some huge spiritual message here...but I think sometimes if we think about the things that attracted us to our spouses, we might find that much of the "good stuff" we loved about each other has gotten buried in the busy-ness of kids, lunches, soccer games, church activities and WORK.

It just might be time to get "caught in the rain" again.

Just sayin...

Are You Beautiful?

I've always loved this verse. I think I see something new in it everytime I read it.

1 Peter 3:1-4
The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands,responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.

How can we cultivate inner beauty?

I know the obvious answers are...read our Bible and pray. Of course, very good things!!

Let's look at it though in light of our current world.

Are we not daily screamed at as women to be outwardly beautiful?
To matter, you must be THIS size and THAT height with your hair and makeup on just so.

If God delights in gentle, gracious beauty, I think we should too.

I don't think it's UN-important to look good, but I think that (outwardly) beautiful-but mean and angry women are not beautiful at all.

Adding the word "grace" or "gracious" to beauty really ramps it up.

A beautiful woman is gracious. She shows grace to others AND especially to herself.

Are you gracious with yourself?

Are you gracious with your family?

Here are some other words for "gracious":
Elegant
Graceful
Refined
Merciful
Courteous

Obviously absent are things like: complains, resentful, angry...

Of course... and this could turn into a whole book...if we don't feel this (grace) for ourself, it will be very difficult to give it to others.

I think this verse is a powerful key to us walking in God's grace towards us and living loved:

Ephesians 3:16-19
I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will
empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.
17 Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.
18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is.
19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. NLT

Receive His love and grace for yourself and out of that freedom, your life will show inner beauty!

There will be no pressure to "have your own way" and "right every wrong."

Forgiveness flows freely when we live forgiven.

God loves you. Cultivate inner beauty by living loved.

Your marriage will be stronger for it.
Praying for our marriages,
Sue

Regaining Sight of His Character by Darlene Schacht

I'm so excited to have Darlene Schacht as a guest post today!


Bio from her site:
I'm a forty-something-year-old Christian mother of four whose children range in ages from eight to eighteen. My husband, Michael, and I l live in Manitoba, Canada, where we run a company that empowers writers to self-publish.

I'm currently wrapping up a book project with actress Candace Cameron Bure, which inspires women to reshape their body and soul. Published with B & H Publishing Group, Reshaping It All: Motivation for Spiritual and Physical Fitness is available for pre-order at Amazon.com.

Darlene also has a new blog called Time Warp Wife:



I asked Darlene to write a blog post for Two shall become One and she sweetly agreed!
Thanks so much Darlene!

Ladies please leave her some love in the comments and make sure to visit her new website and Facebook page for Time Warp Wife.

Regaining Sight of His Character
By: Darlene Schacht

Countless experts on marriage have come out and said, “Men desire respect.” “Men want respect.” “Men need respect.” So what is this buzz word all about? When defining the word, we have to remember that respect is both a noun and a verb. Feeling respect for someone who’s admirable can be a lot easier than showing respect to someone who’s not. And let’s face it, girls, there are times when we all lose sight of the once admirable characters our husbands once had.


Let’s look at ways to put respect in action and start regaining the sight we have lost:

Let him take the lead.
Make your wishes known, but let him, as the head of your house make the final decisions. Joyfully accept the choices he makes. Grumbling, arguing, complaining or pouting are not becoming of a woman, and will turn your husband off.

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. – Proverbs 21:9

Have a good opinion of him.
Husbands have x-ray vision when it comes to our brains. They know when we truly value them, and when we’re putting it on. If we’re accustomed to judging every move they make, it’s time to bridle our tongue, and grab hold of the reins on our thoughts. Focus on the good, let go of the petty judgment.

Notice him.
As women, there are times when we like to be noticed for the way that we look, while men prefer to be noticed for the things that they do. Start noting the things that he does, whether big or small, and let him know that you appreciate the effort he’s made. For example, if you have a disagreement, and he apologizes to you, make sure that you mention his kindness later.

“Honey, I really appreciate your humble spirit. It meant a lot to me that you apologized,” goes a lot farther than saying, “I’m sorry too.” Kiss…kiss…kiss…

Don’t get me wrong, the kissing part is great, but take time to notice his effort.

Show consideration.
I’ve met a lot of mothers who show little consideration to their husbands when it comes to disciplining their children. Unfortunately I’ve seen a lot of naughty children as a result. When Dad makes a rule like “No eating in the van,” stick to that rule.

Your actions toward your husband are a living gauge to growing souls. They watch how we comply, and live accordingly. My husband has said things from time to time that I haven’t completely agreed with when it came to raising our children. One instance in particular was when I arrived home from a writing conference to find out that: “Dad told us we don’t have to do chores anymore!!” Apparently, he was having such a great time keeping house while I was gone that he decided to take over for the kids. Monday morning came, Dad was off to work, and the kids had stopped picking up after themselves.

Times like these call for a private meeting of the parents who work as a team. I make my request known to my husband, and together we weigh the pros and cons before going back to the kids with plan B.

Think highly of him.
It can be difficult at times to think highly of a man who’s stretched out on the couch with a bowl of chips on his chest, a remote in hand and little to no contact with you. Understood. We all have times when we’re frustrated that our man isn’t quite the prince charming we met years back in Wonderland. Bottom line is that in most cases, he hasn’t changed--our perception of him has.



Flowers, dates, kissing in the back-seat of a car, and wearing designer jeans, does not a Prince Charming make. But being there through the birth of your child, working hard to take home a paycheck, bringing his family to church, and taking care of you when you’re hurling over the throne, are noble features to be desired in a man. If he has done any or all of those things, he’s worth a second thought. Start to view your husband with high regard, and you’ll find much to be thankful for.

Wednesday is the New Tuesday

And brown is the new black...but that's for another day.

Did the holiday mess anyone else up?
I knew yesterday was Tuesday...all day...but I stayed in a Monday mood and couldn't shake it. That's not all...I completely forgot about Two shall become One ~ Tuesday!

I was laying in bed this morning at 4~something or as my friend and Praise and Coffee hostess Mary Hess says "dark-thirty" when I realized that I completely forgot to post a guest post from Denise yesterday!

So I grabbed my iphone, sent Dee a message apologizing and rolled over only to fall asleep 5 minutes before I had to get up.

Today is Lauren's first FULL day of school, Daddy took her. LOVETHATMAN!

Was that random and off the subject? Yes. Sorry, I am tired people.

ANYWAYS!

Here is Denise's post...

Well hello everyone! Happy to see you here at Praise and Coffee and hopefully I can keep in touch with you a lot more as summer comes to an end…as sad as that makes me.

Sue asked me to write about my birthday that Jason and I celebrated last month. I have hemmed and hawed so long on this post that my husband is wondering if I did have a good time after all.

Which I did.

My birthday fell on a Saturday and we had not one thing planned. Jason had worked a third shift and was sleeping but he had mentioned maybe we should go out for my birthday. Um, YES! My parents happily offered to take the boys and my husband went to sleep and I had no idea where to go, what to do…

So a friend researched places to go and found a wonderful sounding place on Lake Michigan. It seemed perfect…except that Jason was so tired he slept until around six that night.

I didn’t know if we would have a night out or not.

But here is the thing…I had an opportunity to get mad. And I was disappointed, but I chose to think about all the hard work he had done to support us that caused him to sleep. Whether we made it out or not didn’t make him a better or worse husband, my attitude would make it a good or bad night even if we just stayed home and cuddled on the couch and ate hotdogs and mac and cheese. But, when he did wake up, he hurriedly got around and we headed out…

On a date.

With my husband.

For my birthday.

For one whole night we were not Moma and Daddy, we weren’t the couple with four boys in tow, we weren’t rushing around our little hobby farm to fall exhausted into bed. No, we were just a couple having a fun night out, eating food we never eat; at a restaurant (that we never go to) that was also hosting a wedding that we happened to be sitting next to and jamming along to the fun DJ.

It was a beautiful night.

It was filled with us laughing, walking a pier at sunset, and completely accidentally bumping into old friends we hadn’t seen in a year.

Days later we were still talking about the good time we had.

Who am I kidding? WEEKS later we are talking about the fun we had!

There were two things I learned from this rare date night with my husband…

1. My personal pity party I could have chosen for myself would have ruined the day. If I’d chosen to claim, “it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to” I would have ruined one of the funnest nights Jason and I have had in, well, we can’t recall.

2. There is nothing more fun and romantic and invigorating to your marriage then spending a whole night and day away from your kids not once referring to the other as Dad and Mom. You get to spend a day as a couple, not just spouses, and that, my friends, is a good time.

And I could have missed it all if my attitude had stunk. How sad would that be?

What if You Have Spinach in Your teeth?!

This Two shall become One ~ Tuesday, I have a question for you.

What do other people think about your marriage?

Not just acquaintances from church, but those who know you best.

Sometimes we have no idea the impression we are giving others.

Kind of like when we have a piece of spinach in our teeth.
We just keep on talking and laughing while making those around us very uncomfortable...until a REAL friend stops and tells us what they see! Thankyouverymuch!

I'm not asking you to call your friends and get their opinions of your marriage but maybe you need to think about what impressions you are giving them about your marriage.

Sometimes we need to pull back from our own situations and think about what things are looking like from the outside because that can be a huge indicator of what's actually going on-on the inside.

I challenge you to take a look at your marriage from other's points of view and see what you think about it.

If your closest friends were to rate your marriage from 1-10, what would they say?

If the number is low, how could you raise it?
Not just for people's perception... I'm not talking about putting on an act for others...but really make some changes.

What other people think is not that important unless it is an indicator of something that truly needs to change in our hearts.

Work on the heart of the matter and the outside appearance will take care of itself.

I'm praying for our marriages,
Sue

You Know This One ~ Marriage Post

Ok, we know this one girls:

Ephesians 4:31-32

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
NLT

We think of it when we are angry after waiting 30 minutes in a grocery line or when someone has lied about us to all of our friends...but I want to specifically think about this in our marriage today.

Sometimes I forget to be tenderhearted to the very one who I should be MOST tenderhearted to!

And forgive...it's much easier said than done.

But God never asks us to do anything that He won't equip us to do.

If you're struggling with this today, I encourage you to ask the Father for help. He will. He is faithful, and He loves your marriage.

I'm praying for our marriages,
Sue

Keep On Loving You

For this "Two shall become One ~ Tuesday" I want to wish my dear friends Jason and Denise Dykstra a Happy Anniversary and use her blog post and this song as a reminder to all of us that we need to "Keep On Loving You"!

Read Denise's post here:
Happy Anniversary to My Wonderful Husband

and check out this sweet song...oh how I love Reba!



I'm praying for our marriages,
Sue

All Because Two People Fell In Love

This collage is in my hallway...

My favorite one is on the top left and says,
“Family, all because two people fell in love.”

Why is it so easy to forget that?

We get so busy and sidetracked with the bills and the babies, the laundry and the lasagna.

Days turn into years and we grow apathetic, forgetting the crazy wild passion that brought the two of us together.

We take each other for granted.

Long conversations sitting in the driveway when we were dating turn into short snotty comments we quip to one another as we pass in the kitchen.

Life catches us off guard. Flanks us when we’re least expecting it.

But then, a picture, a memory, sneaks its way into our view and we think about that young couple that fell in love so many years ago.

Remember that couple.

Get in touch with that couple.

Take them out to dinner, do something spontaneous with them and remind them of days long ago when they couldn’t wait to see each other.

Remind them of the long conversations on the phone.

The anticipation and thrill of the sound when their car turned into your driveway.

The day they got engaged.

Help that couple remember that the home, the family and the memories are all because two people fell in love.

And encourage them to do it all over again.

I'm praying for our marriages,
Sue

Is Satan Setting a Trap for You?

Reposted from April 2007.

Isn’t it cute? Don’t you just want to pick it up and snuggle it?

This lion cub is a metaphor for what sin can represent to us. It starts out seeming so sweet and cuddly and safe, but when it grows up- and it will- it can destroy us.

I have sat with a few different women who were involved in an adulterous affair or on the threshold of one. They would tell me how wonderful this relationship is, that it makes them feel so good and how could anything that feels so good be wrong?

Ladies, any time we are entertaining the thoughts of another man and how much we enjoy spending time with him and look for ways to connect with him- it is dangerous!We have to recognize that satan doesn’t come in like an attacking lion- he comes in like a sweet, wonderful, playful little lion cub. He says to us, “What harm could it do?”

John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. NIV

There’s nothing sweet about sin. It is bitter all the way to the grave.

Unforgiveness and gossip are just as dangerous. Our words can seem so harmless, but they can lead to bitterness which can harden our hearts and render us lifeless and devoid of the fruit of the Spirit; peace, love, joy…

Acts 8:23
For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin." NIV



1 Peter 5:8
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. NIV

Ladies, I woke up at 4 AM and this was stirring in my heart. I knew I was to share it with you. I pray that these images will stick with you and remind you of the fact that when the enemy is tempting you with sin that seems so sweet- it’s ultimate goal is to “grow up” and destroy your life.

Thankfully, we have a Savior that died to set us free- then He raised up from the grave and gave us victory over the sin that satan wants to hold us captive with!

Gal 5:1
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. NIV

Father, I pray that you would open our eyes to the traps that satan sets for us. Like Jesus Himself prayed, “keep us from temptation” and help us to walk in the freedom purchased for us at the cross. Lord, we desire to do Your will, give us wisdom and discernment in all situations. We love you Lord. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

Don't Run Away From Your Marriage

Words to think about in this "throw away" society that we live in.

"We only regard those unions as real examples of love and real marriages in which a fixed and unalterable decision has been taken.

If men or women contemplate an escape, they do not collect all their powers for the task.

In none of the serious and important tasks of life do we arrange such a "getaway."


We cannot love and be limited."

Quote by Alfred Adler

Marriage takes commitment.

Who Beat Up Your Husband Today?

I was thinking about this story…

Luke 10:29-37 "Story of the Good Samaritan"

30 Jesus replied with an illustration: "A Jewish man was traveling on a trip from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes and money, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road.

31 "By chance a Jewish priest came along; but when he saw the man
lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by.

32 A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.

33 "Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt deep pity.

34 Kneeling beside him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with medicine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him.

35 The next day he handed the innkeeper two pieces of silver and told
him to take care of the man. 'If his bill runs higher than that,' he said, 'I'll pay the difference the next time I am here.'

36 "Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?" Jesus asked.

37 The man replied, "The one who showed him mercy."

Then Jesus said, "Yes, now go and do the same." NLT

We always think of this in regards to our neighbor… or as someone who lives OUTside of our home. But humor me and consider that this Jewish man could represent our husband.

We know that the Jewish people and the Samaritans were enemies, but unfortunately some of our homes can feel like war zones too.

The Jewish man was beat up, stripped of all he had and left for dead.

I would venture to say that some of our husbands are feeling just that way after being out in this world today. With the job situations, the economy and so many other variables…many men are feeling “beat up” by their world.

I believe the enemy of our souls is hell-bent at destroying homes. He doesn’t care what weapon he uses, he just wants to demolish the family (period).

Our husbands are on the front line.

I encourage you as a wife to take the time to tend to your husband’s needs.

Be the Good Samaritan right in your own home.

Sooth the wounds.

Show mercy.

Help bring healing.

Strengthen your family.

Our husband is our neighbor too.

Protecting Your Heart

Be careful not to protect it so much that it becomes a fortified prison...

From C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

To love at all is to be vulnerable.

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even and animal.

Wrap it careful round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change.

It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable....
The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers....of love is Hell.

Teeter-Totter Marriage

A guest post from my good friend Casie Dussia, you can also find articles from her in our Praise and Coffee Connections Newsletter.

A few years ago, I met a friend for coffee that shared some very serious, private information with me and asked that my husband John and I pray for her and her family. I couldn’t wait to get home and talk to John about this and begin doing what we could to help.

Upon arriving home, I said to my husband, “Guess what?!” His response - “Chicken butt!” Not exactly what I was expecting.

It really was my fault, though. After approx. 13 years of marriage at that time, I should have known better than to ever end a question directed towards him with a word that rhymes with butt! You see, my husband is a big kid at heart that almost always has a smile on his face and a joy that is infectious to anyone around him.

His response frustrated me to say the least and I took my frustration to God. I didn’t understand why John had to make a joke out of nearly everything. There is a time and a place, and this was not the time for kidding around! Why was it that the very reasons I fell in love with him and married him in the first place were often the same reasons that I get irritated at times?!

Boy, did God give me a revelation!

First, He basically let me know that I needed to lighten up, which I wasn’t very excited about. I wanted Him to fix John, not me! But, then He gave me a vision that humbly showed me exactly why John was who he was.

God gave me a picture if you will, of a teeter-totter. On one end was John, on the other end was me. Other than the occasional slight teeter, that teeter- totter was completely parallel to the ground.

It started becoming very clear as to what God was wanting me to see - that teeter-totter was our marriage, our relationship. Because God created us the way He so wonderfully did, we keep our marriage balanced!

Why hadn’t I realized this before?! Instead of embracing our differences during challenging times in our relationship, I had sometimes wondered why we couldn’t be more alike.

I tend to be very structured, whereas John tends to go more with the flow. I am very determined and enter tasks full force and John seems to weigh his options and leave room for adjustment. If we weren’t different, it simply wouldn’t work! We balance each other out.

I still from time to time feel discouragement during those serious moments that John throws in a joke, but now I take a deep breath and throw a little smile God’s way, thanking Him for creating us so beautifully and uniquely and for helping us to keep our teeter-totter so wonderfully balanced.

Casie Dussia is a small business owner and a personal trainer that ministers to women’s soul, mind and body. She lives in Southwest Michigan and enjoys life with her husband John and son Jase. Casie is a team partner of the Praise and Coffee Ministry in Plainwell, MI.

Three Pitfalls of Communication in Marriage

Some of the valuable things I have learned about communication in my 22 years of marriage...

1. Listen...with your ears not your mouth.
We can get so wrapped up in telling our side of a story that we never stop to listen to what our spouse is trying to tell us.

Proverbs 12:15
Fools think they need no advice, but the wise listen to others.
NLT

2. Watch Your Words
Use words like, "that made me feel _________" instead of accusing words like "you are so mean and awful..."

3. Don't say..."Never" and "Always"
Rarely are they ever used truthfully and they are words that put up immediate walls.
Your husband knows that he doesn't always say ______, so when you accuse him of it, he will immediately close you out and not hear the rest of your complaint.

Hope these keys help!
I'm praying for our marriages!
Sue