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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Two shall become One ~ We Reap What We Sow

It's harvest time...well maybe a little past...but work with me here.

It's that time of the year when farmers gather up their harvest and enjoy the fruits of their labor. They've spent the spring-time planting seeds, then the summer watering, fertilizing and weeding.

Autumn is the time to reap the benefits of sowing healthy seeds.

In that same way, the current harvest in our marriage is the result of the seeds we have sown and cultivated in the past.

We are reaping today, the seeds planted last season (could be hours, days or months).
Is your harvest a strong and healthy marriage or are you struggling and feeling alone?
Could it be that we're not reaping love from our husbands right now because we were sowing seeds of disrespect?

I'm going to go out on a limb with my own experiences and say uh-huh, uh-huh (nodding furiously).

Heb 12:10-11
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

A harvest of righteousness in a marriage requires sowing healthy seeds, watering, fertilizing and pulling up the weeds! It's not easy, we have to discipline ourselves to do things that we may not want to do.

James 3:18
Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

Sometimes it's hard to sow the right seeds...but let me ask you- what kind of harvest do you want?
Don't wimp out and take the lazy way out- there's too much at stake.

It's going to take radical obedience to lay down your own wants and needs for your husband.

It will take way more than being the status-quo wife to live like this. In will be a direct contradiction to the pattern of this world.

The natural inclination is to sow condesending words and attitudes, but God calls us as wives to sow respect.

Eph 5:33
...and the wife must respect her husband.

Ok, so the farmer who wants corn in the fall, plants corn seeds early June.
If he wants carrots, he plants carrots.
If he wants pumpkins, he plants pumpkins...
You get the picture.

We reap what we sow.

Gal 6:7-9
7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.
8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

I am living proof that this verse is true. Everytime I sow seeds of anger, bitterness and unforgiveness, I reap a level of destruction in my marriage. But when I sow forgiveness, mercy and respect I reap a happy home. (Ladies, sometimes just try smiling really does make a difference!)

The Lord wants to rebuild marriages and strengthen the bond between us, but He needs our co-operation. We need to plant seeds that will bring life to our marriages.

First plant respect, it is your husbands #1 need. From there, look at the fruit of the Spirit that as women of God we should be producing:
Gal 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,
23 Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence).


Let's pray,
Father, thank you for every women reading this today that has a desire to honor You as the wife You've called her to be. Empower us by Your Holy Spirit to walk in the fruit of the Spirit in our homes. Help us to respect our husbands, even those who aren't walking in obedience to Your Word. I pray that You would heal broken hearts and bind up the wounds that no one else sees.
I pray for complete restoration of marriages that some have counted as lost.
Nothing is impossible for You God!
In Jesus name we pray, amen.

I would love to hear testimony of how God is using these TSBO Tuesdays and highlight them from time to time in my posts. Please email me what God has been doing in your marriage and let me know if I can share it (indicate if you would prefer it with or without your name).
Thank you!


Anonymous said...


I needed to hear this today. I've been doing a little sowing and reaping lately -- and not the good kind! :)

Thanks for the reminder!

Blessings, friend!

Dimple Queen said...


I know you are not at my house! BUT it sure sounded like it. I stayed up until 2:00 this morning because I had been sowing some of those seeds of disrespect and the reaping was not pretty last night!

I appreciate SO much these TSBO posts! I try to make it over to read, but don't always comment! I will definitely link to this one today!

God bless you and thank you for letting Him use you!


Susan Skitt said...

Oh how true Sue. Thanks for bringing us back to the basics of what we need to make our marriages God honoring and doing it with the precious Word of God :)


Unknown said...

There are times I have said certain things...and didn't even realize I was being disrespectful. My desire is to be respectful,but I'll blurt something out and the the Holy Spirit will convict me...and I will realize that it's still in my heart to be that way. We can never let down our gaurd, can we???

Good post, as usual, Sue!!

Unknown said...

I also wanted to share the following quote. I put it on my blog today because it is so convicting! I thought it went well with what you shared today!

"I want to say that no matter how many domestic skills you have, no matter how well you can cook and clean and sew, no matter how creative you are, no matter how efficient and organized you are in your home, no matter how capable you are in your workplace or in your home environment, no matter how clean your house is, no matter how beautifully decorated your home may be, you can destroy it all with one little instrument called the tongue." ~Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Praise and Coffee said...

Great quote Gina, so true!

Angela, I think it's very cool that you share that with us.

Anonymous said...

It can be very hard to give what you're not receiving...that is our challenge many of times. (Especially after years of emotional starvation ~ it's hard to not fall into your own kind of selfishness.)

Praise and Coffee said...

Holly, that is a very difficult situation indeed. As the Lord becomes our All in All, our cup is filled and will give us the strength and love we need to do the hard things.

Anonymous said...

Even women who do seek and fill their lives with God and the things of God are bound to be tested in ways that are discouraging and disheartening that can temporarily cause us be selfish and in need of support. It does not change the reality of the situation nor does being Godly spare us of those situations.

I am sorry I was simply stating a fact, a challenge, for many Godly wives.

Praise and Coffee said...

I'm not sure why you feel the need to apologize, I was not contradicting you.
You're right it is an incredible challenge, that is why I write these posts every week-because I know how easy it is to respond in the flesh! :)

I have cried and prayed with many women who were at the end of their rope, and I would still offer the Lord and His love as the answer. That doesn't diminish that they are hurting deeply, but I say it to offer hope.

Kathie said...

What a wonderful devotion. Thank you. Blessings from Costa Rica

Anonymous said...

Sue, thank you for this blog. Thank you for your posts and your Godly mindedness. Thank you for giving us His word that helps convict and comfort us.

Praise and Coffee said...

Holly, I wish you were here so I could give you a big (((hug)))

My heart goes out to you, I'm praying for ya.

Christy said...

I have been challenged and encouraged by reading your post today. One thing I have to remember is that I don't have to do this on my own... I HAVE to rely upon God in all things, even my marriage.

More than anything I want to honor God with the kind of wife I am to my husband. Honestly, some days are easier than others. What a great reminder about sowing and reaping. Thanks for sharing!

Heather C said...

Ugh. Timely and sage wisdom. Thanks... I think. No, seriously... thanks. :)

Ginger said...

Hi Sue,

Epehsians 5:33 is one of my favorite verses. I'm so glad you are focusing on this. I feel such a burden for marriages and families. A little over a year ago, my marriage was over. Just recently I heard T. D Jakes say and I'm paraphrasing, " A crisis will either push you together or pull you apart". Well, it almost pulled us apart. However, we went to church as a family that one last time or so I thought in July '07 and I prayed for God to heal my family. It didn't happen that day, but later that week, my husband decided that he couldn't throw away over 20 years of marriage. I know God spoke to my husband that day in a very powerful way. He already had put money on another place. God heals, restores, and mends the broken. Our story over the last three years has been one of healing in so many ways. I'm amazed at God's grace, mercy, and abiding love. He's always there. Love and respect is huge in a marriage. I'd like to recommend the book "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs...awesome and based on Epeshians 5:33. There's always hope in God!

Ginger :)

Mary said...

Sue, its seems that its all been said above, but your Tuesday posts are just what I need at this time in my marriage. Advice from my pastor is to pray the Word of God for my husband. It is His perfect will.

I will come back to this one often and I am going to suggest it to some of my friends who need encouragement in their marriages.

Thank you for your obedience to the Lord and for sharing your wisdom.

Love ya!

Praise and Coffee said...

Ginger, thank you for being so honest and open about your struggle. I pray that your story ministers to others.

I love the Love and Respect book/teaching and plug it here as often as I can! :)

MJ said...

How True! I think every marriage goes through ups and downs...I look at each down and a learning experience for us to grow and love each other more. Thanks be to God!

Susannah said...

I enjoyed this post, Sue... especially your tie-ins with the verses. Good food for thought. :~D

Anonymous said...

You know, I wouldn't writing you about what's been happening in my marriage. I just won't give you an exact date because it might take me a few days to put it together. I have to finish our homeschool newsletter first.

Kim said...

I have truly been convicted in reading your Two shall become One posts. It is something that I am deeply struggling with in my marriage. I have an emotionally starved marriage- it has always been that way for 18 years. I have stayed and tried to make it work because I have felt that God asked me to stay married. I know how much bitterness, resentment and anger that i have sowed into this relationship. I can clearly see the results.
I have only a wee bit of hope at this point. Altho. Ginger's post gave me more hope! I am at the point of totally trusting God or walking out the door. It is hard since I do not believe that I have seen any signs of changes from my prayers over the years. I know God is with me but the situation or issues has not changed.I just am not strong enough to continue like this for the next 18 years.
Thank you for the beautiful encouragement from your posts. God's truth has convicted my Spirit. I would appreciate your prayers that I will truly hear God's Word.

Praise and Coffee said...

I will be praying for you and your marriage. Thank you for being so honest and for not giving up!

Though you walk through the waters...He is with you.
Much love,

Jennsmere said...

Thanks, Sue for this challenging post! I soooo needed to hear this. So many times I find myself responding unkindly because I feel I have been treated with a lack of kindness. Instead, I could have relied on God's Spirit within me and responded with gentleness and kindness, long-suffering.......
The sewing/reaping reminder was a definite "God moment" for me....give respect, get respect! I'm expecting a huge harvest of respect in my house!

Blessings and joy to you!!

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