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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Woman...what do you think????

Just a little something to think about...

While all of us are called to be ministers of reconciliation:
2 Cor 5:18-19
All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:
19 that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them.

I have been thinking so much lately about the specific call of a woman.

Titus 2:3-5
3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.
4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children,
5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

For younger women (I would assume that is pre-Grandma age- NOT that Grandma's are old, but by then you should be training the younger women), He puts loving your husbands and children at the top of the list.

And...being busy at home....hmmm.

I think this has been lost somewhat in our culture.
What do you think?

If you are this the message you are teaching?
If you are you see the importance of the call to love your husband and children etc.?

As I mull it over, I would love your input.
(I will touch more on the "being subject to your husbands" next Tuesday.)

Our hope is in Him,


Susan Skitt said...

That call to love my husband and my children is priority. How to do that most effectively sometimes is difficult to understand. But then I keep going back to Proverbs 3:5,6 and ask God for His direction. Kindness and honesty however are a big part of it.

Zaankali said...

I wish I had seen early on the benefits of "to be busy at home". The older I get the more I see the blessings of it and how much it blesses me and my family. Take the laundry for example if I look at it as another chore dumped on me it isn't very fun. If instead I look at it as a way to bless my family and how great they will feel to have all of their clothes clean and ready it becomes a joy to do it to my best ability. Another way to make it a blessing is to pray over the person whose clothes I am folding.

Praise and Coffee said...

I agree, wisdom in all situations!

I feel the same way.
This world does not encourage us to care for our family and homes like we should, but it is a high calling!

Judy said...

Thanks for this post. I am fast approaching an empty nest and have been asked many times what I will do with myself when my youngest leaves for college. This encourages me that my roll is first to my husband and children. And it encourages me that I have a responsibility to younger women as well. Maybe a job "out there" isn't what I need or what God wants for me. I've been praying about what to do next for 7 years. Maybe this is the beginning of an answer!

Unknown said...

I have so many young moms tell me that they are frustrated at home because they aren't "doing anything". ARE YOU KIDDING? Serving your children and husband is NOTHING? I appreciate you bringing this topic up, because I don't even really think it is being taught in many churches. I see young moms involved in this or that AT CHURCH and dragging their kids all over during the day. The poor kids are tired and undisciplined. I found out very early that if I wasn't "busy at home", and tried to drag my kids all over the place, then my home was not in order, and it was hard for me to be consistant with disciplining my children. I also found that I resented having to make meals and keep myhome in order, because I was just too tired. So, even though I was technically "home", I "came home", by not being involved in so much. It has made all the difference. Now that my kids are older teens, I am so thankful for that change, and because of the fact that I was home and available, my kids and I are very close. Now that they are older, I have no intention of changing things! I'm still home, and still available, because they still need me to be that way! And I hope I can be an available grandma too!!!!

Praise and Coffee said...

What an exciting and sometimes scary point of life. I would have been approaching it much sooner had we not adopted a little one!

I think that society tells us that once our job with the kids is over, we have to go outside the home for work. I think we shouldn't just assume that. Pray about it, talk it over with your husband and see what he would like you to do. And decide what the needs of the home are and if you need the extra income etc.

Praying that you have wisdom and peace about it!


Praise and Coffee said...

You bring up some very good points! I couldn't agree with you more.
I think fellowship is so important for young moms, but being over busy with church or other activites that then cause us to be frustrated with our real job at home is not good. We need to keep our priorities in order.
Everything else...

(And I believe that church work and activities shouldn't fall into the "God" category.)

Celly B said...

Oh, yes, Sue! My husband and I decided before we even had children that I would leave my teaching career to be with them at home. I've had to learn, though, to switch gears and pull myself away from outside obligations that seem as if they might be fun or a blessing to others and realize that my most important priority (besides God) is my family. Titus 2 has been a real blessing for me in this respect. In fact, it is the inspiration for my blog title.

Natalie said...

how can we, mom's ,NOT be busy at home??? lol : )

interesting points.

we also need support from friends from time to time to provide encouragement. it is hard work taking care of children and the home and sooo very important.

when we lived out in the country and I had two samll bear cubs, i was lonely.

Xandra@Heart-of-Service said...

I think that when we prioritize our lives according to what God intends for us (God, husband, children), the rest of our life falls in to place the way it should.

This flies in the face of what the world tells us we should do. I read articles about taking care of me, and doing what's right for me, but nothing about how to honor my husband. All the more reason to trust what the Word of God says about my priorities!


Praise and Coffee said...

That is so cool! I love to hear about Moms being able to stay home with the kids. While my heart goes out to those that want to and can't!

Praise and Coffee said...

Yes, the Word is the only thing we can trust for sure isn't it?!
The world is certainly not steering us in the right direction these days.

Thanks everyone for the input!

Sheila said...

If you've ever read my blog you know what I think.

God's taken me on a great adventure in rediscovering the joy of His design and plan for me as a woman, wife, mom- keeping my home. I fear that many of us fall for something more glamorous, with slogans like, "I can do anything you can!" and "I am woman hear me roar!" I don't doubt God has created a woman powerful and able to do many things...even things that seem to be "a man's job." I agree with the feminists...we are powerful, the question is do we use our power to build up our own husbands and children and homes for God's glory or do we use our power to build up our own place in the world (or the church) thereby abandoning the place that is built up or torn down by our God created strength?

It's so easy to miss or dismiss...yeah we love our husbands and children, yeah we take care of our homes. But do we? Are we ministers of reconciliation to them?

I'm glad you bring this up Sue.

Judy, as a "younger" woman I'm always praying that the Lord would raise up more "older women" to teach us younger women. Oh, what if moms who had finished training up their own continued to be available for the ministry of raising up more "children" in the Lord by training us younger women in the practice of agape-ing our husband and kids and keeping our homes. I pray you would be one of those women!

And Gina- thank God for women like you who've chosen to stay available and lead us in a good example of actually being home, not busy about so much that we neglect our own husbands, children and homes.

I wonder how many children and husbands would be better equipped to be workers in the field for the Lord of the Harvest if strong women of God lived lives of faith as workers in the field God has given them for His harvest- in being helpers to their husbands, shepherds to their children, and keepers guarding their homes.

Sorry for the winded comment- obviously something the love of Christ compels me to be passionate about! - Sheila

Anonymous said...

I am learning to make it a priority to be busy at home. My husband's love language is Acts of Service, so when I have the house all cleaned up when he gets home and things taken care of it makes him really happy.

But, like we all do, I find it hard sometimes to keep on top of things. Sometimes the motivation is just not there.

Great post!
God bless :)

Praise and Coffee said...

I agree wholeheartedly with your words! I feel so strongly that our husbands can not become who God intends them to be until we find our place as their helpmate. I'll be talking about this more to come!!

Thank you for your comment!

Praise and Coffee said...

Awesome way to be a woman of God!!! You go girl!

Anonymous said...

I just had a conversation about this very subject yesterday. I had lunch with our youth pastor, who is a 33 year old woman. She was talking about obligations to the youth group and how it interferes with her family and I told her that her husband and family ... and home has to be her first priority. It goes against everything we hear, but we are wives and mothers and keepers of our homes. First. The other stuff has to fall behind. Thank you for confirming my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

As a homeschooling wife and mom of six children for 29 years now, I looked for that older woman in my 20's and 30's... and found Christian radio and Elisabeth Elliot to be my sources of encouragement. The Lord showed me to keep it simple, not too busy outside the home, and when I became lonely, He was my source of companionship, or He would provide an opportunity for fellowship with other women. Being home/staying home for the most part is the work we have in training, schooling and raising the next generation for Christ. I see too many moms doing way too much in extra activities for their frazzled is no way to live...and no way to teach/model being contented with the simple pleasures of life. I am soon to be a grandmum...and I am delighted my daughters want to be at home, and see that as a calling and a career, and that I have sons who desire their wives to be at home also.

Praise and Coffee said...

Great advice to give!! True wisdom.

Praise and Coffee said...

That is wonderful.

Don't you think that when our priorites are in order, it brings peace to the whole home?! Amen!

Monkey Giggles said...

I agree with all that has already been said. Sue, thank you for bring up this subject.

Sandy said...

Oh yes, Sue - you're singing my song! We are so much missing the mark this day and age. Even in my busyness, I'm trying to raise and train my kids and prioritize my home. "Protect the home plate," is what I often say.
I also have wonderful, older women who I watch and learn from. And I hope to be an example to the younger!
You always nail it with your posts! Love ya, girl!!

Sandy said...

PS - the best gift I can give to my children, besides teaching them about God, is how I love and treat my husband. If that is not in place, then forget about a hospitable spirit!!

Praise and Coffee said...

Thank you!
You are so we treat our husbands is vital! Our kids are experts at spotting a fake, they will see if we live it and more than likely will follow in our footsteps if they are genuine!

I am so excited to delve into this more in the coming weeks!
I love all the input.

Susannah said...

Amen, Sue. Can you imagine what our society would be like if all women made their home and family their focus?

I'm delighted to be a SAHM, although I do help my husband in our home-based business. I'm grateful to have the choice to stay home.


e-Mom @ Chrysalis

Skippin' Rope said...

This topic is something very much on my mind and heart right now. I agree completely with God, husband, kids, busy at home.

I love to take care of my family. My husband especially loves when I keep busy at home and the house is clean. Yet, I'm really struggling right now beacause we have a 5 month old. I don't always get everything in my home done and my husband can get really upset by it. It's a struggle for him to understand that I'm taking care of a child as well as the home.

I believe the first years are so fundemental in developing a core with your child.Yet I want to take care of my husband and keep the home clean. I'm just having trouble balancing it all out.

Thank you for confirming even more so for me that being a stay at home wife and mother is the right thing to be doing though.

elizabeth embracing life said...

Being a somewhat older mom to very young kids, and then being a mom to almost adult children I am often put in remarkable situations with young moms.

I do feel it's important to empart wisdom into these young moms, encourage them being at home, share how I managed with limited income, the blessing of adult kids that are amazing. I get asked over and over what I did to have such neat kids? ( I in no way say this to flattr myself) only that I have been there for my kids. I did have the blessing of my own business, which I could work on with napping young children and kids in school, being home the most important job. I LOVE being home. I don't hurry to vacuum floors or clean when company comes unless I truly have extra time. It takes time to raise up our children in Christ, to teach them responsibility, to show them how things get done.

Living by example as we respect and honor our husbands publicly. I don't engage in husband bashing. I feel that my husband works hard all day so I can be home. Yes, it's along day for me, yes I get tired, and I have days when I look at what the kids have ate and think....goodness! Life is how we look at it. One big chore or one big adventure. I am choosing adventure, and with three little boys at home....need I say more.

A Stone Gatherer said...

We have lost the art of mentoring! We so need to get it back! I know I could use it and I know that I can give advice as well. Home should be our first priority (after God of course) if God has given us a husband and children.

Praise and Coffee said...

I think there would be a lot of happy husbands and children!

military mom,
It is a hard season with little ones. I would just try to make sure your priorities are in order and just know that it's a short season in your child's life.
I can remember when I had 3 little ones under the age of 5 that- I hadn't sat down ALL day! Ugh.
But God got me through it!

Praise and Coffee said...

You are so right on!
If we live it, others will see it, including the "not husband bashing".

Fran said...

Oh gosh!! Our busyness in the home is probably killing us...that dern internet and tv stuff! :) You know what I'm saying...we aren't being busy with things and people that are the most important.

And...truly want to see more of the Titus 2 thing going on. Our church does not do this like we should.

We have to stay in His Word and know the ways He has for us.

Great stuff Sue!

Unknown said...

I had another thing come to my mind as I was reading all your wonderful comments! I recently have been approached and asked if I would speak at a couple of women's events (a retreat, and another meeting.) Although I felt honored and humbled that they asked, because of the timing of these events I really felt that I would be saying so much more by saying no to these events, than by going and talking about making our homes and families a priority. I would have had to leave my family at awkward times, and it would have been hard. I sensed the Lord telling me to "live it" for now, and maybe I'll have those opportunities at another time. Since I am homeschooling two high schoolers, and have a busy schedule with my husbands ministry, I knew it would just be too much for all of us. It makes me think of how many times it would be easy to neglect our most important ministry, to be involved in other ministries. I think our lives can speak so much LOUDER if we are faithful to what we are called to do.

Just some thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Being subject to my husband - making loving him and my children a top priority in my days... I try to do this everyday but sometimes I get too busy with the home and helping others. I think too often, we can overlook our closest ones and feel as though, "oh, they know I'm here for them and love them." But really - they're the ones that need our attention the most, because teaching to love and serve start in the home.

Thanks for this thought this morning... I look forward to more on this subject next week.
God Bless, HL

Praise and Coffee said...

Gina, I think that is a great example of living it out!

It is an interesting situation....women need to be taught these things while not keeping them out of the home so much that they can't live it!

Life example is so important!!

Anonymous said...

WOW! Great post!
How often we forget that being a mother and a wife is a blessed job and very very special calling!
In todays's world, I believe our women feel the need to find self-worth and appreciation from the outside world (I am VERY guilty of this), when we need only to walk down the hall and look in on our sleeping little ones- or watch our hubby happily eat the food that is placed before him...
Indeed, the greatest job EVER!!!

Unknown said...

hey again, Sue! I'm sorry to commentAGAIN! YOu don't have to publish this if you think the "old lady" has rambled on and on to much! As you can tell, this is a subject I am pretty passionate/burdened by. We are in touch with so many young couples who have graduated from the college my husband teaches at, and we see so much of this with them. It just grieves me to see them not being taught in their churches to be keepers at home. They run from one thing to another. Anyway...I want to make sure that you understand that I do not mean to be so "black and white" when I talk about this subject. I know that it may look different for each person depending on their circumstances and season of life. What I may feel called to not do, might be okay for someone else. (Like the speaking) That is why we need to be in prayer. Don't you think that if a woman is truely seeking the Lord, and reading the scriptures regularly, and wanting to do the right thing, then God will reveal to her what she should be doing?

I think you have an incredible ministry to women through your blog. It is awesome to see you setting the example of ministering from home. so many women are being reached!

It is important that women are taught, and I believe that God will accomplish that in different ways, if we are faithful to HIm and His Word. And we won't have to neglect our family to do it! Isn't that cool?

If you would like to use an article I wrote, it is on my blog and it is called "THE MINISTRY OF BEING A MOTHER". Now, YOU COULD HAVE WRITTEN THIS...but I just wanted to offer it to you.

God bless you, Sue!
thanks for listening to an old lady ramble!

Jjlrdomom said...

Like Sheila said, God has been taking me on a journey of growing and learning the great priviledge He has given me in being a woman. A verse that really struck me several years ago, while my husband was still working as an Aerospace Ground Equipment Mechanic (basically, a diesel mechanic) in the Air Force, was 1 Timothy 3:8-11 Deacons, likewise, are to be men worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.
In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything. When I read this, I was so struck by it, yet I told God, 'My husband isn't a deacon and I don't think he'd even consider it.' But God told me that I needed to be this kind of wife REGARDLESS of where my husband was SO THAT my hubby could be whatever kind of man God wanted him to be. The amazing thing now is that my husband is a Chaplain's Assistant now! I love it!!!

Another thing I want to comment on is the whole "staying at home" thing. I so agree that when we're out and about all the time, it puts a strain on our children, our relationship with our spouse, our responsibilities around the home. I cherish the time I get to just be at home with my children, doing things about the house. It breaks my heart when people don't want to be in their own homes with their own family. I consider these blessings from God, gifts that I want to enjoy!

Thank you for this article and all these wonderful comments!!!

Darlene said...

We started a Mentor/Mentee program at my church about 6 months ago. I wanted to be a mentee but, God had other plans...I am a Mentor and I have really enjoyed this. I don't have all the answers...but the time I have spent with mentee is so precious. I love my husband and daughter and they are always a priority. If I remember correctly the bible tells us to respect our husbands and for the husband to love his wife as Christ loves the church. I try very hard sometimes to show my husband respect and how much I love and care. When you have small children ....the husband sometimes gets pushed to the back burner. But, has your children get older they find their way back to the front. I hope this makes sense. Our daughter is 18 and will be leaving for college in the fall. In the past months I have thought about how things come in circle. We spend more time together now than we have in a long time...some of this is due to being a very active in Andrea's life as I believe we should be....but we should have never have put some things before our relationship with each other. I can never get back the time I lost .. I can only try to make spending time wisely a priority. This can also be used in how much time we spend with God each day. I wish I could say I have always put HIM first. But, I can't. I am trying to learn from the past and be more in tune with how I spend my time. This is not easy!! I look at things differently now ...maybe because I am older. But, I wish I could go back and do things over or change alot of things. I can' I try to pass on leassons that I have learned to my mentee and anyone else who will listen. Life is not easy and women need women. God made us this way. We need to learn to rely on each other and not let our PRIDE stand in our way to ask for help. We must put HIM first and all things will fall into place.

Karen Hossink said...

Kinda crazy, isn't it, that we need to be "taught" to love our husband and children? But sometimes it is so much easier to love the stranger than the one who is closest to you.
Thank God for His perfect love, which He will pour through us!

Melissa in Mel's World said...

It is so funny to me how we can be SO CONNECTED and have never met...Sue, you truly can touch right at the heart of the matter and bring it out into the light.

As someone who stayed home for 9 years, then went into full time ministry for 5 years, and now am back at home full time it blows me away at how much I put to the side while I was working. YES, it was for the LORD, yes, it paid the bills, Yes, it was the ministry God called me to, BUT...(such a big word for three little letters)...HE also gave me a husband and two amazing sons.

Which one do you think HE wants us to take care of first?

(Sorry...stepping off my soap box...)

Susan said...

Being one of the oldest ones.... I would say next to God our primary care and concern has to be first our husband, then our children. God established the family before he established the church and He has a lot to say, through the epistles, about the role of marriage and wife.

If you want to be celebrating your 50th anniversary soon, as I am, you better give your husband the honor that his role deserves.

Anonymous said...

yes, i see the importance of the call to love my husband. even if it seems so hard to do. it's only by God's grace. thanks for sharing. believe it or not, you just confirmed what God has been telling me to do in spite of.

concerned parent said...

This is such a needed post and I have thinking of something to comment about. I felt I had to reflect on how I am looking at my life and how I prioritize thank you for doing this post and helping me put the order back in my life.

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