Guest Post: Sandy Coughlin ~ Reluctant Entertainer

I'm so thrilled to have Sandy guest posting today. We connected years ago when I first started blogging and I've watched God do amazing things with her ministry.
Her heart and passion is to help others find the lost art of hospitality and entertaining.

Of course this resonates with me as I love connecting and encouraging women also!
I wish Sandy didn't live on the other side of the country because I sure would love to have her cook an amazing meal for me have coffee with her and talk for hours!

Check out her website and grab her book "The Reluctant Entertainer ~every woman's guide to simple and gracious hospitality"

Family Unity, Marriage and Blogging
by Sandy Coughlin

Sue asked me to guest post today, and she knows me well because we've been following each others blogs for years now. I'd say we both believe in good, healthy, strong marriages and family unity.

Even if you say you know a perfect family – well guess what? You probably don’t know them very well.

Our family is not always in unity, but when it is — when my marriage is going great, I am meeting my children’s needs, we are spending time together, our family time around the dinner table is rich, our kids are on track and content, we are growing and living for God — then I am using my gifts wisely. That where blogging comes in ...

God has blessed me with a wonderful man. And the “center” of our growth as a couple comes from Him. But I recently told a friend that I gage where I am with my blog and priorities as a wife and a mother by using a barometer.

My barometer is this: How is this working within my marriage? And this is a question that we can ask ourselves about whatever we are passionate about.

If my marriage isn’t strong, then everything else seems to fall out of line.

• Is my husband in my corner? Is he in support of my passions?
• Am I making creative time for my marriage?
• Am I wowing! my husband and planning date nights?
• Does he know he’s the most important person to me (and my kids)?
• Is there tension or resentment between us?
• What is the tone when we are talking to each other?
• Am I always running off for girlfriend time?
• Am I listening to him?

If things are not good between us, these questions challenge me to get back on track. That is why I’ll sometimes say to a friend, how is this working for you and ? (hubs name here).

I’m tying this post to Reluctant Entertainer and blogging because I’ve learned that with entertaining, it can be a miserable event if I don’t have peace within my marriage and my family before it all begins.

It seems so empty if I barge ahead with plans if there is stress and strain in the home. It’s like walking into church and putting your “happy face on” when you just had a fight in the car with your husband!

Unity is important to me, as the hostess, to be real and open with my guests when they walk through the front doors. Real entertaining for real people.

How's the unity in your home, if you are married, and even (ouch! this could be a tough one) with the things that you are passionate about?

I’d love for you to share your thoughts!

Sandy Coughlin - Reluctant Entertainer
Twitter: SandyCoughlinRE
FB: Reluctant Entertainer

View her website: Reluctant Entertainer

All Because Two People Fell In Love

This collage is in my hallway...

My favorite one is on the top left and says,
“Family, all because two people fell in love.”

Why is it so easy to forget that?

We get so busy and sidetracked with the bills and the babies, the laundry and the lasagna.

Days turn into years and we grow apathetic, forgetting the crazy wild passion that brought the two of us together.

We take each other for granted.

Long conversations sitting in the driveway when we were dating turn into short snotty comments we quip to one another as we pass in the kitchen.

Life catches us off guard. Flanks us when we’re least expecting it.

But then, a picture, a memory, sneaks its way into our view and we think about that young couple that fell in love so many years ago.

Remember that couple.

Get in touch with that couple.

Take them out to dinner, do something spontaneous with them and remind them of days long ago when they couldn’t wait to see each other.

Remind them of the long conversations on the phone.

The anticipation and thrill of the sound when their car turned into your driveway.

The day they got engaged.

Help that couple remember that the home, the family and the memories are all because two people fell in love.

And encourage them to do it all over again.

I'm praying for our marriages,
Sue

Don't Run Away From Your Marriage

Words to think about in this "throw away" society that we live in.

"We only regard those unions as real examples of love and real marriages in which a fixed and unalterable decision has been taken.

If men or women contemplate an escape, they do not collect all their powers for the task.

In none of the serious and important tasks of life do we arrange such a "getaway."


We cannot love and be limited."

Quote by Alfred Adler

Marriage takes commitment.

Who Beat Up Your Husband Today?

I was thinking about this story…

Luke 10:29-37 "Story of the Good Samaritan"

30 Jesus replied with an illustration: "A Jewish man was traveling on a trip from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes and money, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road.

31 "By chance a Jewish priest came along; but when he saw the man
lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by.

32 A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.

33 "Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt deep pity.

34 Kneeling beside him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with medicine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him.

35 The next day he handed the innkeeper two pieces of silver and told
him to take care of the man. 'If his bill runs higher than that,' he said, 'I'll pay the difference the next time I am here.'

36 "Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?" Jesus asked.

37 The man replied, "The one who showed him mercy."

Then Jesus said, "Yes, now go and do the same." NLT

We always think of this in regards to our neighbor… or as someone who lives OUTside of our home. But humor me and consider that this Jewish man could represent our husband.

We know that the Jewish people and the Samaritans were enemies, but unfortunately some of our homes can feel like war zones too.

The Jewish man was beat up, stripped of all he had and left for dead.

I would venture to say that some of our husbands are feeling just that way after being out in this world today. With the job situations, the economy and so many other variables…many men are feeling “beat up” by their world.

I believe the enemy of our souls is hell-bent at destroying homes. He doesn’t care what weapon he uses, he just wants to demolish the family (period).

Our husbands are on the front line.

I encourage you as a wife to take the time to tend to your husband’s needs.

Be the Good Samaritan right in your own home.

Sooth the wounds.

Show mercy.

Help bring healing.

Strengthen your family.

Our husband is our neighbor too.

Teeter-Totter Marriage

A guest post from my good friend Casie Dussia, you can also find articles from her in our Praise and Coffee Connections Newsletter.

A few years ago, I met a friend for coffee that shared some very serious, private information with me and asked that my husband John and I pray for her and her family. I couldn’t wait to get home and talk to John about this and begin doing what we could to help.

Upon arriving home, I said to my husband, “Guess what?!” His response - “Chicken butt!” Not exactly what I was expecting.

It really was my fault, though. After approx. 13 years of marriage at that time, I should have known better than to ever end a question directed towards him with a word that rhymes with butt! You see, my husband is a big kid at heart that almost always has a smile on his face and a joy that is infectious to anyone around him.

His response frustrated me to say the least and I took my frustration to God. I didn’t understand why John had to make a joke out of nearly everything. There is a time and a place, and this was not the time for kidding around! Why was it that the very reasons I fell in love with him and married him in the first place were often the same reasons that I get irritated at times?!

Boy, did God give me a revelation!

First, He basically let me know that I needed to lighten up, which I wasn’t very excited about. I wanted Him to fix John, not me! But, then He gave me a vision that humbly showed me exactly why John was who he was.

God gave me a picture if you will, of a teeter-totter. On one end was John, on the other end was me. Other than the occasional slight teeter, that teeter- totter was completely parallel to the ground.

It started becoming very clear as to what God was wanting me to see - that teeter-totter was our marriage, our relationship. Because God created us the way He so wonderfully did, we keep our marriage balanced!

Why hadn’t I realized this before?! Instead of embracing our differences during challenging times in our relationship, I had sometimes wondered why we couldn’t be more alike.

I tend to be very structured, whereas John tends to go more with the flow. I am very determined and enter tasks full force and John seems to weigh his options and leave room for adjustment. If we weren’t different, it simply wouldn’t work! We balance each other out.

I still from time to time feel discouragement during those serious moments that John throws in a joke, but now I take a deep breath and throw a little smile God’s way, thanking Him for creating us so beautifully and uniquely and for helping us to keep our teeter-totter so wonderfully balanced.

Casie Dussia is a small business owner and a personal trainer that ministers to women’s soul, mind and body. She lives in Southwest Michigan and enjoys life with her husband John and son Jase. Casie is a team partner of the Praise and Coffee Ministry in Plainwell, MI.

Three Pitfalls of Communication in Marriage

Some of the valuable things I have learned about communication in my 22 years of marriage...

1. Listen...with your ears not your mouth.
We can get so wrapped up in telling our side of a story that we never stop to listen to what our spouse is trying to tell us.

Proverbs 12:15
Fools think they need no advice, but the wise listen to others.
NLT

2. Watch Your Words
Use words like, "that made me feel _________" instead of accusing words like "you are so mean and awful..."

3. Don't say..."Never" and "Always"
Rarely are they ever used truthfully and they are words that put up immediate walls.
Your husband knows that he doesn't always say ______, so when you accuse him of it, he will immediately close you out and not hear the rest of your complaint.

Hope these keys help!
I'm praying for our marriages!
Sue