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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Pornography in Marriage


Thank you for sharing your hearts with me through your comments and email. Some of the hurts you have been through and are going through just break my heart. Please know that the Lord sees where you are in this right now. He sees your tears and knows your pain.
I want you to know that I realize how hard it is to open up about this and I'm praying for you. I hope that your story can help someone else and that God will be glorified in your life and marriage.

Psalms 34:18
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Though it may feel like the loneliest battle of your life, you're not alone in it. He is close to you, even now.

I want to offer you hope, because no matter how bad a situation looks, there is nothing impossible with God.
Luke 1:36-37
For nothing is impossible with God.

God is in the restoration business, it's what He's best at.
Bringing life to something that is dead, such as a hardened-broken heart.
Resurrecting something that seemed to be gone forever.

You may feel like you could never trust again. Like a part of your marriage died and is gone forever. Not true with God. He is a God of resurrection. Bringing life to that which was dead.
He's our living hope. He can bring re-birth to your heart and to your marriage.

1 Peter 1:3-7
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade-kept in heaven for you,

5 who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.

7 These have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Here are some links to help you in this specific trial you are going through.

Discovering Pornography or Infidelity

A Checklist for Confronting Your Spouse

Confronting Your Spouses Secret Sin

Here are a list of books that you all suggested have helped you:

~For Her: Living with Your Husband's Secret Wars by Marsha Means

~For Him: Breaking Free by Russell Willingham

~I Surrender All: Rebuilding A Marriage Broken By Pornography” by Clay and Renee Crosse

And a free online book:

~Free book by Mark Driscoll The Porn Again Christian

Ladies, there is hope, and it's found in nothing and no one else but God.

My heart goes out to those of you that have been wounded by this. I am praying for your heart and marriage to be healed.

(The February drawing will be tomorrow.)


Unknown said...

Oh yes, our Heavenly Father is always with us. And thank you for being here.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for giving "hope" in what seems like very bleak and lonely situation. I know...HE IS there, HE DOES care and ALL THINGS are possible through HIM. It's me who's held up...with lots of bad feelings and right now not willing to let HIM do what I know He can. It's just so hard. I don't even feel like I can tell my husband that I KNOW. I think I'm too the point that I don't really care anymore. Sorry.

LadySnow said...

For the women who have this to deal with in their marriage.....I know it's been said but put your faith and trust in our Lord. May God heal your hearts and your marriage.

Heather C said...

This has been an issue in my marriage in the past... but GOD IS FAITHFUL! He sees the potential in my husband and together, they are achieving victory over this addiction. There is hope... in Christ. ((((((((((Anonymous))))))))))) Please don't give up. I'll be praying for you!

Mel said...

Ladies porn is an insidious thing but never starts out as us thinking it is harmful, nor do our spouses.

I want you to know that indeed God can heal and restore, He will change our hearts to pray our spouses through this and even though it seems hopeless it is not. I know such a thing can often make us feel less than or that we did something not good enough. That is a lie and don't buy into it.

Dimple Queen said...

My heart aches for you Anonymous. I wish I had an email addy for you. I have so many things I could share with you. You are NOT alone. I have been where you are!!!! PLEASE, if you feel you can, come to my blog, go to my profile and email me....or better is my email addy

angela.pridgen at yahoo . com

I will still keep you annonymous, I will not share anything with anyone. Remember I said I have been where you are....

Anonymous said...

I am afraid that i have been in the situation with porn in my spouse's life....there are pictures alllll over his computer. Thanksfully, it's something we've been learning about at church these past few weeks and I know he's being challenged by the words spoken. I don't want to makes me feel UGLY!! So when someone else gives me attention about myself, I've accepted through what I thought was innocent teasing....and in many yrs of marriage, I've never had a relationship with anyone else besides my husband. Nothing physical has happened, but it's a definite part of the mind game. sigh. I was reading today on another blog about integrity. I want that!

Anonymous said...

I am presently going thru this with my husband. I confronted the situation and he has admitted it. Months have gone by now and I still don't see him trying to make changes to his life. I have not completely lost hope for God to do a miracle in my marriage but I am definately getting tired of the fight to stay together. Thinking now that it would be easier if one of us just died. (natural causes of course...not thinking of murder) Is that too honest?

mholgate said...

Ladies, I am on my knees in prayer against the enemy on this one! Pornography is so wide spread and it is a ruiner of marriages. Anonymous gals, know that you are not alone. Every time I turn around I am hearing another sad story. I have come across the topic in sermons, blogs, and conversation with friends a lot lately.
Praying for healing and restoration, Melissa

Anonymous said...

I just want to say "THANK YOU" to those of you who are praying for all of us who is dealing with this horrible situation. I am encouraged and my heart is touched.

To Dimple Queen, at this time I don't feel ready to talk or share...but I thank you for your offer, from the bottom of my heart. You are probably a very very nice person with some very helpful information, but I do have some trust issues. I'm sorry. I will keep your information, for a later time, if that is ok.

Writing on this blog were my first words about this to anyone. It really scared me to even write it. I wonder if it made it more real to me. It's kinda like..."ok, I said something, I got it out, it's not a secret anymore" thank you everyone for praying. This is really hard.

There are decisions that I need to be making and honestly I've just tried to pretend that it is not happening and I think to help me, I've put up a wall and made sure that I don't's easier that way. I KNOW prayer does make a difference and even if my husband is not affected by the prayers...I hope to be.

Praise and Coffee said...

Thank you so much for sharing your life with us. I believe that even in your struggles, you are making women think about their own lives and the difference God can make.

I wish you were across the table sharing coffee with me, but instead I offer my prayers and ears (eyes) to you anytime you want.
Much love and hugs,

Anonymous said...

Thanks for having the courage to tackle this topic. There are indeed so many who have been hurt and are hurting from this. Outside the church and... inside the church.
Pressing On,

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