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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Two shall become One ~ Financial Infidelity

Given the current financial crunch so many are in today, I thought I would re-post this past favorite. Originally posted March 4, 2008. Much love! Sue


I heard a story once about a woman who loved to spend money! She was truly a shop-aholic in every sense of the word.

Her husband had sat her down and talked about the fact that they really needed to be on a budget and would appreciate her help with this endeavor.
So one day she sheepishly came home with yet another new outfit from her favorite designer.

She was so excited about her great find and she just knew that her husband would see things her way once he saw how wonderful she looked in this new outfit. She rushed upstairs and put it on to model for her husband.

As she was spinning and twirling in front of her less than impressed husband, he reminded her that they had made a commitment not to spend any money that was not in the budget.

"Oh, but look how darling this is honey, I just couldn't resist! I'm telling you...the devil made me do it!" she said.

"But you know that when the devil is tempting you, you should just tell him, 'get thee behind me satan!'" the husband said.

"Oh, but I DID!" she said, "and the devil said that it looked good from the back too!"

The story is funny, but unfortunately the subject matter is not.
So guess what today's post is about?
That's right.
Honoring our husband with the way that we handle the family finances and spend money.

Prov 31:10-12
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,all the days of her life.

Prov 31:27
She watches over the affairs of her household

It is called, "financial infidelity" and it is one of the leading causes of divorce today.

The signs of financial infidelity include hiding money or debt, failure to disclose assets, keeping a secret bank account, and secret spending.

This type of dishonesty can threaten a marriage.

The spending and secrets are basically the symptoms.
The real problem is there's been a breakdown in trust between a husband and wife.

I love to shop. I love to spend money. But I have learned that unless we are in agreement about the money spent, it can bring strife into our marriage.

I want to encourage you to respect your husband with your spending. Never make a major financial decisions without his consent.
Be a team financially.
If you have to purchase something secretely, you probably shouldn't be purchasing it.

I think we all want our husband's to have full confidence in us and know that we will bring him good and not harm as the Proverbs say.

Let's not open our marriage up to "financial infidelity."
Create trust by honoring one another with your spending.

I'm praying for your marriages!


Smelling Coffee said...

Thank you for re-posting this! What a wise Word. Just recently I've been convicted about being wiser with our family finances - even our grocery purchases, and I do feel like more of a "team player" in our marriage. Now, it makes sense why I feel that way.

Blessings to you today...


Hi Sue!

I always go to your blog to see what you have to say, but to be honest, I do not normally read it when you are discussing the "Two Shall become One" series....except this morning. The "Financial Infidelity" really caught my eye.

Thank you for sharing this vital information. You're right. Finances can rip up a marriage..and quickly.

Blessings to you!


Anonymous said...

Sue is back stronger than ever! Welcome back! I agree with what you are saying. If it helps at all, it's somewhat fun to have challenges to better your personal best. Say for example, you want to bring your grocery bill down to $100 a week. Then try $75 and see how low you can get it. I've been doing that with all of our bills actually. It's fun! Besides, then you get to have money for those extra things. Gifts for each other. :)

Jen said...

I needed to hear this today Sue!! Thank you for listening to the Lord directions because I really needed it!! :)

concerned parent said...

Great repost it is a time of be wise with money and honoring our husbands with this can help with the economic stress most couples are feeling at this time.

LadySnow said...

Being together on the finances is such a big part of a marriage. We have always been tight for money and we have times when we become lax on our budget and it hurts our marriage.

Thanks for sharing this.

Tammy said...

Such great thoughts important to be a team in all areas, including finances!

Megan said...


...well, i'd like to think i'm doing good at this, i'm not a shopper & am proud of myself for that... i've been trying to not repeat this trend that ALL the women in my family abide by, secret-purchases and all...

...but I *never* show my husband my receipts when I go to the scrapbook store... I actually paid in CASH last weekend...


thanks for the powerful reminder. i needed it!

Heather C said...

Excellent! Well worthy of a re-post! :)

Linda said...

I am not coming here anymore on Tues.! LOL I just went shopping today knowing I should not have and this is the first blog I read when I come home. Can you say OUCH!! I know the Lord needed me to read it again. All joking aside, I did need this today thank you.

Tamatha said...

It sure is important!

mariel said...

ouch! good and necessary reminder! I am partial to "Mrs. P31" ( anyway, so this spoke right to what the Lord has reminded me of before! thanks, Sue!

Jennsmere said...

Thanks so much, Sue for this post! I often have to go back through the store putting back a few items that are impulses and not really 'needs'! Shopping can be a real weakness for me, but when I remember that God's wants me to be a good steward of what He has given us...well, that makes me proud and happy that the Lord actually has confidence in me to be disciplined and responsible.

Your post was a good reminder of what the alternative to discipline can be! So sad that many only 'get it' after the damage is done.

Bless you!

Quiltingranny said...

I just love reading your posts. When our family was doing well financially, I was a shopping fool, but I never hid anything from my husband, I didn't have to as I made more money than he did and I paid most of the bills. I would try to talk budget to him, but that was a dirty word. Now that we have made a major move, I can't find a job, he is with me in the area of budgeting and I have lost the urge for shopping all the time. The biggest habit I have is quilting for charity & he knows I have tons of fabric. But it is very important for all of us to remember to stay 'out in the open,' about finances. I have a friend who buys shoes and hides them. She got caught recently and came crying to me. I told her she was not only breaking her husbands trust, but his heart and their budget. I could go on, but Sue you just are fantastic with picking a weekly subject!

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