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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Two shall become One ~ I Want A New Attitude


Since many of us are evaluating and examing our lives at the New Year, it's a great time to have a new attitude towards our marriage (but so is everyday!).

It is easy to fall into a routine and stop expressing our love and gratitude for one another.
So many times we forget to be grateful for all the God has blessed us with as wives. We may even being carrying unforgiveness or bitterness towards our spouse, sometimes we hold on to it so long that we forget why we have animosity in the first place, yet we still resent them.

Our attitudes are a result of our thoughts toward our spouse. Our actions are quick to follow those thoughts and attitudes.

Eph 4:22-24
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;
23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds;
24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

I like the way the Message Bible says it also:
Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It's rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces His character in you.

I really love that part: "as God accurately repoduces His character in you."

Let me ask you...what would your husband say about your attitude?
How do you suppose he speaks of you when you are not around?
And what do you think his friends say about you behind your back?

Yes, I know- brings me to my knees right there next to you.

I want to have the kind of attitude that is well spoken of. That I hold to my convictions and really put off that old self so that I can be new in the attitude of my mind and His character is being reproduced in me. I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it.

It certainly does not mean we are perfect, but that is also no excuse not to examine our hearts and see what kind of attitudes we have been projecting in our marriages towards our husbands.

So I leave you with this question:

"How can you change your attitude to show your husband that your faith in God and His Word is real...without using words?"
I'm praying for our marriages.


Anonymous said...

As always I love your honesty!
Sandra Hersey

Anonymous said...

If you've not seen it, I highly recommend, Enhancing your Marriage by Judi Rossi, published by AMG Publishers. It's serious stuff but it is an aid to building solid and strong marriages.

Praise and Coffee said...

Thank you, I'll check it out!

Joan said...

My mama always told me. "Be Nice."

I see too many couples that are not nice to each other.

Saying 'please', 'thank you', 'I'm sorry', and 'I love you' go a long way. Thanks for a great post!


Anonymous said...

I agree with Joan - sometimes it's just as easy as remembering the basics - please, thank you, I appreciate that honey, etc.

Wonderful post - as always!! :-)

Angela Baylis said...

Thank you for this post! I need to change my attitude... completely! I need more of HIM and less of me!
I appreciate your blog more than you'll ever know!
Have a good day!
Angie xoxo

Yolanda said...

One of grattitude.

Reaching for Higher Grounds in 2009


Anonymous said...

New Year-- walk as His "new creation"
May my attitude as a wife be a direct reflection of my Lord. Sad to say, I fall short too many times.
Thank you, Sue.

Miriam :)

Susanne said...

Very challenging post, Sue!! I am definitely going to give this one some thought. Thanks for the nudge.

Carolina Mama said...

Love your ideas and prayer for marriages is always a great thing. Blessings.

lynnmosher said...

Oh, I love this post! It's one of my soapboxes! Our attitude, thoughts, and words are so important. What we tell ourselves, when we mumble under our breath about our spouse, gets etched into our psyche and replays the negative constantly.

Changing our attitude only happens when we replace the negative with the positive. Praising God for my spouse...thank You, Lord, that he's not like...that he doesn't...that he isn't...

It takes time and effort, even sometimes through gritted teeth, to accomplish this, although it is never perfected. We are, after all, still human!

Thank you so much for this post. May the Lord bless you!

heidi said...

My grandma taught me what Joan had to say and she also said to remember to laugh. I've also learned to be my husbands biggest encourager and to respect him as well. BUT it's always great to hear reminders of this. Thank you for reminding me!!

Heather C said...

Very thought provoking post! Thank you for laying it all out there today. I need to hear it.

And thank you for putting Patti LaBelle in my head... "Oooo... Ooo... Ooo.. Ooo... Ooo..... I gotta new attitude!"


I need to work on my attitude...alot! Porbably would make for a much more meaningful relationship than one of just tolerating each other, know what I mean?

Mary Lou said...

Oh, yes it boils down to attitude. The older I get and the longer I am married I am slowly but surely learing to NOT sweat the small stuff and even not some of the big stuff. When you know you don't have another thirty or maybe even twenty years you start learning to appreciate your husband every day and try to show it in small and big ways and to enjoy each day. Find something each day to celebrate, even if it's just the fact that it is Wednesday.. Thank you for another great reminder and post. Blessings...Mary Lou

Kim said...

Oh wow, I needed the nudge this morning. I was not a pleasant wife the point that I just got a text message from Hubby telling me he's turning his phone off. Sad. :(

Two things: I'm going through some tough stuff right now, and I just really need to remind myself to think before I speak. Just because I'm in a not-so-good place doesn't give me the right to not be kind to my darling husband.

Also, for our first Valentine's Day, we decided, instead of gifts, to make a list of each other's character traits and the things we love about each other. Both of our lists are on the bathroom mirror. In those times of distress, when I'm really discouraged with him, I go read the list I made about him. It's a great reminder!

Thanks for being a blessing to me today!

Unknown said...

I was allowing outside forces to enter our relationship. After getting hurt at work and being forced to take a week off I prayed and prayed for relief. The Heavenly Father didn't take my physical pain away but address my anger against my husband.
Things are much better after realizing that I was taking him for granted.

Colored Heart said...

first of all, i greet you happy new year. it's been a while since my last visit to your site. i really like how you fashioned your site with the two ladies chatting over a coffee table. i love the coffee beans too.

thanks for sharing your thoughts, and as usual, you came up with thought-provoking questions. i am inspired to answer them now.

God bless you and your blogging ministry this year. till my next visit!:$

ValAnn said...

I've been going through and reading some of the older posts (since I just found your blog yesterday), and I was touched by this one.

I made this decision in my life about a year ago, that I would be happy in my marriage. That each day I woke up I would decide to be grateful for the life God had given me, and I decided to look for the good in my husband. After 13 years of marriage, this was tough at first, as I had gotten to the point that I wanted to focus on the not so good...

Making this conscious decision has made a world of difference in our marriage.

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