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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The Day After

It was a very hard day yesterday. We all have blood shot eyes today.
Life has changed for our home. It will never be the same.

I know that joining the Air Force is the right thing for him to do, I know that God is leading him down this road. I am so thankful that we have peace about it, but my heart is broken at the same time. It hurts to let someone go that you love so much.

I did not want to let him go yesterday. Just hold on and keep him my little boy forever. Unfortunately, that was not an option.

It’s hard to see them leave the nest. But, it was wonderful to see that his Bible was the first thing in his duffle bag.

My baby is becoming a man. A man that I am very proud of.

This is a new season for our family. Although my heart aches, I am excited to see all that God is going to do in our lives. God will get us through this. He is faithful. He has a plan that is so much bigger than I could ever imagine.

I love this quote, it is so fitting right now:

C. S. Lewis, the Four Loves

'To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it up careful round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable... The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers... of love is Hell.'


Susan said...

Thinking of our oldest heading off to college NEXT year brings tears to my eyes. I can't imagine it. He is such a staple to our lives...I'm cherishing every morning when he hollers out, "I'm heading out. Love you." And he waits for my response. If I don't respond immediately (and I confess sometimes I don't so that I can hear him say), "Mom! I'm leaving for school! Love you!" I always respond, "I love you. Have a great day. No racing." "No racing" is a thing we have back and forth between us because so many kids have been killed in our area over the last few years by car racing.

Saying I love you to each of our children every day is something I have always done. My dad always told me he loved me, even when I wasn't/wouldn't speak to him or respond. His dad died while my mom and dad were on their honeymoon and while my dad and his dad were in the midst of a huge fight regarding my dad's choice of a career. My dad has never forgiven himself, even though he knows his dad knew he loved him. My husband's parents NEVER told him they loved him. Never gave hugs and kisses. It was quite a struggle for him to hug and kiss our children and to tell them he loved them, although he could say it to me without hesitation. Thankfully, God has done such a miracle with him. He still "shows" his love more than he says it...but we're working on it (me and God!).

Hugs, Sue. I'll be praying for your handsome, much-loved son.

<3 Susan

Chris @ Come to the Table said...

What beautiful words from a mother's heart. tears...
I love this quote. It is so true, if we love (even our children) at times our hearts will hurt even when it is for something good, like seeing them grow up.

Blessings to you today!

Roo said...

oh sue -- i feel the ache in your mama heart. God bless you. reading your post i was reminded of something my dad once told me about love and the vulnerbility attached to it. i had built huge walls around my heart to protect myself from ever getting hurt again. it seemed like the safe thing to do. but dad reminded me that those walls that keep out hurt and pain also keep out the love my heavenly Father wanted so desperately to pour on me. it seemed risky to take down the walls. my heart gets broken everyday now....but it's a reminder to me that i am still alive and HE still has something for me to do.

love to you sister. thinking about you....

Beckyb said...

I will be praying - that is just not easy even though you know it's a good plan. ALL of my boys say they want to go into the military - I'm praying differently - it's all selfish though on my part!!!!

Holly said...

Praying Sue! I wish I could let you hear what it sounds like at our house today...the Thunderbirds are preparing for fly overs at graduation at the Air Force Academy tomorrow. They have been flying right over our home. The whole place rumbles and the kids are so excited!! I will post some pictures of them tomorrow. I think what your son is doing is so very important. You just let that piece of your hearts go out flying around! Our son is nine and want to go into the army.

Praying for you Sister!

Sharon Brumfield said...

I know that you are very proud.
I know of the change that can take place in a home when one child leaves.
You will cry, and pray and then you will thank God for the time he gave you with that child.
I spent time thanking God that even though I could not see my son--He could. It made my heart feel better to know that we were tied together by the eyes of God.
He will come back a different man--but he will always be your boy.

PandaMom said...

My heart is tight for you right now. Know that you are being lifted to our heavenly Father. ; )

Dionna said...

I'm sorry it was such a tough and emotional day for you. It's tough to let our children go out into the world only in God's hands - we sometimes think our hands are so much more capable!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for being real. I had to let my oldest go all the way across the country last year for a year of school of ministry. Not as scary as what your son is doing, however, it was scary for me.
I had this overwhelming peace the entire time, because I know that God was watching out for her. It taught me to trust him more.
Bless you for your passionate love and desire to cover and protect your son. He will honor your prayers.

Jewels of My Heart said...

I can only imagine how hard it is but what comfort to know that he is leaving with his Best Friend... Jesus. Good job Mom and Dad.
God's Peace

Rhonda said...

I thought of you on Monday, May 28. I couldn't imagine what you must have been going through. I certainly would not have wanted to trade places. I'm sure that I would have been an emotional wreck. I cry at every stage as my children are growing.

The reassurance that your son has matured into a man of God and is following His will is immeasurable. Bless you for parenting your child and training him up in the ways of God. It can be so difficult to let them pass onto adulthood, but how wondeful to know that he is in divine protection.

Bless you Woman of God.

Anonymous said...

I am just now catching up on all of my blog reading.

I'm thinking of you and praying for you during this time of change and transition.

The Lewis quote was especially meaningful to me today! Thanks for sharing!!


Irene said...

I am here from Bluebird.
I want to wish your son a safe service for all that is Good and for the glory of God.
Blessings to your family.

sharon brobst said...

Sue I was just "bog hopping" and came across this post. I loved the quote by CS Lewis! I had to let my oldest go 5 years ago as he left for college, one semester later my heart broke as I watched him go his own way...away from the Lord. No love is never easy. But I have found that I can walk in joy through painful goodbyes and heartache as I cling to my Lord. We just keep praying for our children where ever they are...

Shari said...

Hi Sue

I had read this post earlier but due to computer issues was unable to leave a comment. I have been thinking of you often and praying for you. Letting go is SOOOOOO hard to do!!

My oldest son is moving away in the next few months. My daughter will begin college this fall but fortunately it will be local! My husband is very grateful that his girl will still be home for a few years!!

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