As many of you know, we adopted Lauren from China a little over a year ago. She was 2 years old when we brought her home and she had lived in an orphange for all of her 2 years.
We struggled for several months and still do at times, with her attachment to us. I would say she is strongly attached now, but it has been a struggle.
We have come leaps and bounds and I believe she is very securely attached to me, but there are so many little "quirks" that she has that reveal the past fears and insecurities. Sometimes I really wish she could tell me about the things she has seen and experienced. We get glimpses, but never the whole picture.
That brings me to what happened the other day. I was unpacking all my Christmas stuff and she was sitting with a basket of last years Christmas cards looking at each one of the pictures. She was there for a good 10 minutes just studying them while I was busy decorating. Suddenly she yelled "MOMMY!" and ran over to me with a card in her hand. With a very sad and upset face and tears in her eyes, she kept yelling-
Mommy! No Mommy! No Mommy! and shaking her head.
I looked at the picture and this is what is was...
She was very upset and said, NO MOMMY!....MOMMY GO BYE-BYE...!!!
She kept repeating it over and over and I realized that she was saying that the little girl in the picture was sad because her Mommy had left her. That's when I saw that the little girl was Chinese.
My heart just broke and I held her and assured her that this little girl's Mommy had not left her, she was just praying to Jesus.
I wish I could get inside that little mind and know all that she thinks and how she processes things, but it is clear that she has glimpses of the past that haunt her.
Our job is to love Lauren and protect her and pray that she will be healed from her past and that it won't affect her future. I believe God has big plans for my little darlin' and He will use her past to bring healing to others.
So..................................... what about you?
Do you ever have glimpses of the past that remind you of past pain? Does a picture or memory send you reeling in grief?
If so, the Holy Spirit is there to bring the love of God into your heart and show you the protection and security that only God can bring.
22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;
23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds;
24 and to put on the new self,
created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
I pray you are able to trust that Your God loves you and will never leave you, and that you can put your past behind you and be made new in Him!