GREAT! The Lid Came Off the Mayo Jar

Hello,
I just got back from a glorious run on this beautiful Michigan day!

Not really...wouldn't you hate me if that was the truth??
The truth is, the weather IS beautiful for Michigan today, 40's and sunny. But the run was tedious and tiring and I wanted nothing more than to stop and drive to McDonalds for a McFlurry.
The glorious part is that it's done. Amen.

I don't usually write on the weekends but Lauren did something today that I wanted to tell you about.

First let me warn you, there is nothing spiritual or redeeming about this. It's kind of ugly and nothing like the beautiful things that Ann Voskamp writes on the weekend.

Lauren (7yo) opened the fridge, started rifling through it and grumbled in disgust, "Don't we have any cupcakes?! Where are the chips?! GREAT! the lid came off the mayonaise jar!"

Now, it should be noted that I don't think we've had cupcakes in this house in a month and I never keep them in the fridge. Apparently she wanted the chips because she spotted french onion dip and I have no idea why she feels the need to take on responsibility for the mayonaise container.

If she was 10 years older I would assume we were dealing with PMS but evidently we're just dealing with an ornery seven year old who needed some time on her quad, thankfully she got that.

Now you should probable head over to Ann's website because she does sweet things on the weekends that make you feel happy about life, not me, I've had my nose buried in the book "Bossy Pants" by Tina Fey all weekend and I'm feeling a bit snarky.

Life is a Series of Moments

I am thankful.
My family and friends give me reason to smile every day.

Even when I look back at the events in my life that brought intense pain, I see how they have served to mold me into the person I am. I was not always thankful for those times but I was thankful in them because I believed that God loved me and even if I couldn't see His purposes at the time, I trusted in that love.

There were desperate days that I clung to the hem of His garment begging for things to change...and in His grace they didn't. But that past pain has now brought depth and feeling to areas in my life that could have remained numb. It's brought deep growth when complacentcy could have kept me shallow.

Most of all, it's made me thankful. Embracing the good times with family and cherishing my sweet friends that I share laughter and tears with. Holding moments of love tightly in my heart and turning from the clutches of bitter unforgiveness and offense.

Life is a series of moments.

Don't let the moments get lost in the momentum.

And laugh. Laugh a lot.

This is an entry from a my journal when Lauren was 5 years old...it still makes me laugh, I hope it brings a smile to your face today too.

Hearing loud music coming from her bedroom, I crack the door to hear Toby Keith blaring and see this child siting on the bed with her motorcycle helmet on surrounded by our two large dogs while "talking" on her cell phone. She looks up at me and says without a second's hesitation..."oh good you can be the Grandma."

I hope your Thanksgiving has many wonderful moments.

Much love,
Sue

My Cat Story

I figured it was a good day to humilitate myself so here goes!


Many years ago, I had this cat. Her name was Baby. She was very sweet, but had some rather annoying traits. One was her voice, she had the kind of meow that sounded like nails on a chalkboard, but at least she only did it in the middle of the night.

She also had this strange habit of backing up to something and shaking her tail as if she was spraying it, but thankfully, nothing ever seemed to come out. I had heard of male cats doing this, but never females. When I had my first child it became very annoying because she would do it around his things, as if to mark her territory.

So one day I decided to call the vet and ask if there was something I could do about it. As I explained to the receptionist how she would back up to things and shake her tail as if she was spraying, the woman seemed just as perplexed as I was. She sat there silently for a moment and said “who is doing this?” and I explained once more that it was my female cat and I wondered if she had any advice for me. She then very sweetly said that I should probably call a vet, and it was at that moment that I looked down at my address book and realized that I had called my gynecologist.

I hung the phone up as fast as I could. I was so embarrassed that I never even called the vet. I picked up a spray bottle and drenched the cat whenever she shook anything.

I've shared this story many time to illustrate that it's so important to think about who we are calling. A friend or family member may seem the most logical choice but is it really the one who is most equipped to help us?

If our heart is broken or we are struggling...the Father wants to be the first call we make.

Pray first.

And never. Never. Call the gynecologist about the cat.

A Story with No Redeeming Value. Really, not sure you should waste your time on this one.

I need to warn you, there are no redeeming qualities about this story.
It is just a snippet of the strange things that happen to me on a daily basis.

Denise, has crazy stories about her boys and family.

I have peculiar stories about the people that find me. Grocery stores, gas stations and even, as you will see, restrooms...

So, I went to Target last week to finalize my Christmas shopping. I went alone. It was glorious...being alone. I cherished every minute.

As is always the case, I stopped into the restroom as I walked into Target. May or may not have anything to do with my coffee addiction.

I walk into the stall and...and then I hear these women talking. I can tell it's a women (30-ish) with her mother. The daughter is complaining about a "lump."

A lump in her breast...the mother seems completely uninterested, as if she's just tired of hearing the daughter speak. I would soon understand this sentiment.

She asks her mother to feel the lump and asks what to do about it, the mother nonchalantly says, "it's probably nothing."

Then the woman explains that the lump is painful.

About this time I walk out of the stall and say, "if it hurts, you probably should get it checked out."

Her eyes got big as saucers and she exclaimed, "REALLY?! Do you think so?!"
She was obviously thrilled that someone wanted to engage her in this discussion.

"Yes," I said. "I would check it out."

"Do you think it's a lymph node?" she said, pointing to the lump.

"It sounds like it," I replied. "Have you had sinus problems at all?"

Again...she pracically leaped at me..."YES! I have! I've had a sinus infection and terrible drainage!"

She then went on to describe the drainage.

About this time, a friend that I have not seen in many years walked in and we both screamed, "HI!" and hugged!! My friend walked into the stall as the woman then asked me to feel her lump.

"Feel this, right here, what do you think?"

By now the woman's own mother walked out of the restroom leaving me there to feel her breast lump.

Hesistantly, I put the back of my hand on her lump area-ish.

"Yup, it's a lump, it could be that with all the sinus problems your lymph nodes are pooling and swelling," I explained.

Then.
It got even more uncomfortable.
Yes...this is possible.

She told me the story of when she was 19 (now 31), how she had a one night stand with a guy. She never should have, she explained, but it just happened.
Now, several years later, she found out, that he gave her h*rpes.

Yes.
This really happened.
Right in Target's bathroom.

I expressed my sadness at her unfortunate mistake.

What... else... could... I... do?

About this time my friend walked out of the stall and started washing her hands behind me.

I encouraged the woman to get the lump checked out and to have a Merry Christmas while she was at it.
She thanked me profusely for all my advice and walked out to find her mother who had probably driven away by now.

I turned to my friend who was drying her hands, shaking her head and giggling under her breath.

"I don't know how these things happen to me," I said.

We both burst out laughing and then spent 20 minutes catching up on the past 10 years.


So there you have it.
A glimpse into an experience that I wish was unusual for me.


Do these things happen to you?
I'd love to hear about it if they do! :)

I told you this story would have no redeeming value, but I am over at the cafe' today if you want to read my post, it might redeem your last 5 minutes. I hope.

How's your little light doing?

All the Wrinkled Ladies!

Love Anita Renfroe!!!!

I ask a lot of my pantyhose...

Wow, what a crazy week! I've been running around trying to get ready to go away to a writer's conference this weekend. Any moms out there that can relate to the "preparing to leave" routine?! Laundry, food and all the extra little emergencies that we try to prepare for.

• Make sure they don't run out of dog food.
• Tell them where the dog food is.
• Buy plenty of cereal...the boys can survive on cereal for weeks if need be.
• Tell them where the cereal is.
• Wash everyone's underwear...they can deal with a lot, but no underwear becomes a crisis.
• Tell them where the underwear is.
• Remind them again about the dog food.

(In my husband's defense, he is AWESOME! He does take care of everything and they are all in good hands...and Lauren is thrilled to have Daddy all to herself for a couple days!)

And then there is the fun of preparing my own clothing choices. Now that it's a new season, everything has to be tried on and tested again. Not sure if you knew this, but in Michigan clothing can shrink from season to season.

So I put on an outfit that I really like, but it's just a bit snug...you know....the "Michigan thing." But I tell myself, it will be fine when I put pantyhose on. Then I realize...I ask A LOT of my pantyhose. Truly, they are expected to preform like no other piece of clothing or accessory. I can honestly tell you that if the pantyhose decide to get lazy on the job, somebody could get hurt. Just saying.

I was also busy sending out 25 Praise and Coffee Leader Packets to women who want to start them in their communities around the nation. From Maine to Arizona, women are busting out the Praise and Coffee and I am just thrilled to be a part of it! I hope to get to travel to many of them this next year!!

I am heading to Florida on October 28th to do a Praise and Coffee Night in Ft. Lauderdale with Melissa from Mel’s World. She's a long-distance blogging girlfriend that I just can't wait to meet in person. I think we will have hours of conversation and lots of laughs, just like girlfriends should!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, I'll let you know how the conference goes and most importantly, how the pantyhose hold out. Pray for me (or should I say, THEM).

Sidewalk chalk goes awry...

It starts out like (almost) any other day, a father and daughter doing some chalking...

Suddenly, things go bad...(or good depending on your point of view)

She returns the offense...

With great satisfaction!

is thinking...mom would never do this with me....

..and she's so right...

It's like putting mascara on, you can't do it with your mouth closed...

Add a squeel for effect...

And a hearty guffaw!

...continue with giggles throughout...

My little Asian smurf and her very fun Daddy!

Friday Fluff

The other day I was having a "discussion" with my 16 year old daughter and as she left the room I jokingly said, "you better watch it or I'm gonna spank you!"

Lauren looked at me with amazement ...I could see it in her eyes, oh what a joy it would be to see someone else get a whooping!

Then she ran up to her bedroom and hurried back down the stairs, she came up to me with a wooden spoon in her hand and said, "here Mom, I found this under my bed."

She's such a little helper :)

**********************

Ok, I'm going to confess. On Christmas day we played a cruel joke on Lauren. As she unwrapped her gifts...well first-get this picture. The six of us are sitting around the Christmas tree. Two brothers ages 20 & 18, one 16 year old sister, Mark and I and of course-the center of attention-Lauren.

So she's opening her gifts and as she sets them aside to move on to the next, one of the older kids would grab that gift and sneak into the other room, put it in Sam's (the German Shepherd pup) kennel. Then they would say, "Lauren, where is your __________?" everyone would look around and someone would suggest that maybe Sam took it, and she should go check the kennel. So she would run in the other room, to find her toy in the dog kennel and yell, SAM! She would grab her toy, bring it back and the whole cycle would begin again with another toy. All the while Sam is minding her own business gnawing on a bow in the corner.

We all got the biggest kick out of it, but it has served to bring a little contention between she and Sam. To this day, when she walks out of a room, she makes me promise not to let Sam get the toy that she is playing with at the time.

I'm surprised she hasn't brought the wooden spoon out for Sam.

***********

Life is never dull around here. God has been so good to our family, I'm grateful everyday.

A Worship Accident

Have you ever had a worship accident?
I have, let me explain.

The other morning I was reading and writing at my computer, no big deal, seemed fairly safe. But see, I have worship music playing in the background. This is where the it gets dangerous.

So there I am reading an article online and the music builds to a powerful part where it says.
"Majesty, Majesty Jesus Lamb of God!" and at that moment I throw my arms up to praise Him. But I forget that I had set up a new lamp so that I could do my Bible study without turning on the main room light.
And there you have it- arms flying up in the air to worship, hand slamming into said lamp and whammo- broken finger nails.

It really put a damper on my worship. I'm sure it was satan :)

But then it occured to me. How do I explain this to Janice, my nail tech???
I don't know if she will understand what it means to have a worship accident.
I could always make something up.

I'll bet they don't wear acrylic nails in the throne room. Good thing.

Here is the song that started it all.
I'm warning you, clear an area before you listen.

Children Make Us Crazy

I'm convinced of it.

Why else would I...

-hide band aids and tape?
-sing the ABC's in the shower
-pretend to eat plastic food
-scream the word "because!"
-let a child eat ice-cream for breakfast just so I have time to check my email
-call my husband "Daddio"
-take a 3 minute shower and feel clean
-ever-EVER say...'don't wipe, let me do it'

But also, I know that being a Mom is truly the most important job I have ever had. It may be exhausting and seem thankless at times, but the rewards are insurmountable!

I'm so thankful for my kids, and especially thankful that I get to see my oldest today! Matt is flying in from NYC for the weekend.

Oldest and Youngest

Matt and his dirtbike...

Lauren and her...quad...
(Notice the gnarly boots!)

Friday Fluff and other random happenings

Ok...I'm at it again, but NO sidebar button!
If you missed the first installment of FF, go HERE


*** It has been cold and snowy here in Michigan for far too long now. I'm ready for a break.
This is what we do when we can't go outside to play:

We build forts in the house. That is Lauren, Daddy and if you look real close you see the dog in there too! In case you notice that she has no shirt on...the child is hotblooded and I have a full time job trying to clothe her. Sometimes I leave the room for just a moment and when I come back, she down to her unders. Occasionally I fight it, mostly we've all gotten used to it.

***However...she was just given a lifesize (her size) Barbie, and my boys do not at all appreciate seeing Barbie in nothing but a pony tail holder. I have had to convince her that Barbie is sick and needs her clothes on. So now we have to wipe Barbie's nose. The nose I can handle, if it gets any weirder, I'm done.

***Last time I did this, a few of you wondered about a comment I made about my son Matt. Matt is a character and always giving me ammunition for the blog but I try to be discreet with the kids. However, you have to hear about his latest antics.

He is in college and is studying genealogy in one of his classes. They are supposed to look up their family history and make a family tree etc. Well, that seemed too involved for Matt, so instead of calling his grandparents and getting all the information, he decided to make up his own family and NAMES!

Mind you...some of these precious people are still living and he is changing their names!

If he had done the slightest bit of research he would have found that his ancestry goes back to people like Helen Keller on his Father's side and the Kennedy's on my side (sorry, I can't be responsible for that!).

But no, he made up names and occupations just to finish his project with the least amount of sweat on his brow. I'm not excusing his behavior mind you, but he did catch me off guard when I mentioned his Great-Grandma and he said, "Oh Grandma Stevens?" which is not her name in the real world, only in his pretend, liar world.

*** Another "Matt-ism" is that he loves to do illusion and tricks. He especially like amazing his littlest sister with his slight of hand. She's always good for a good jaw-dropping when he makes her toys disappear. Then the music starts of course!

Lauren thinks she's figured this all out and she will take a nickel into her hand, put both hands behind her back and then ask you to choose. When you choose an arm, she will transfer the nickle to the other and show you her empty hand. She repeats this until she finally drops the said nickel behind her and shows you both her empty hands as she gasps with amazement at her ability to make things disappear. Of course we all gasp too.

*** So last week I finally threw out the Christmas tin with a handful of mixed up caramel, butter and cheese popcorn at the bottom, how about you? Did you hesitate thinking that maybe you could re-use that tin, or did you just pitch it like me because you already have 2 in your basement?

*** Everyone in this house, except my dear husband, loves ranch dressing. We have a local restaurant here that makes it best! I used to have a friend who worked there and would bring me home the packet to mix it up and make my own. The only problem was that it was a large packet and I wasn't good with fractions so I had to make it all, and as much as we love it, a five gallon bucket was more than we could handle (just kidding- don't send letters to help me with the fractions).


But seriously, I do plan meals according to what we can dip in ranch dressing. That waitress no longer works there, but I found an awesome recipe that I can make in smaller portions.

Here is my tried and true favorite:

1 cup buttermilk
1 cup Kraft mayo
1 Tbls Hidden Valley Ranch BUTTERMILK mix
1/2 tsp. coarse black pepper
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
Mix and eat with anything and everything!

Friday Fluff and other random happenings

Hello friends,
This week's posts have been so serious, I feel the need to post about nothingness. Kind of like a Praise and Coffee version of Seinfeld.

Don't worry, I will not be starting a new meme, "Friday Fluff" and posting a button with cotton candy on it for your sidebar!

So here's some randon thoughts about things going on around the Cramer household these days.

*** Did I tell you that I got a speeding ticket? Yup.
I haven't had a ticket in years, but this time he got me. It was the first time I was out of the house without Lauren in quite a while and I was feeling FREE!
The speed limit goes from 50mph down to 35...but I didn't.

He asks, "do you know why I pulled you over?"
Of course I knew, didn't he see me slam on my brakes?
Then, "do you know how fast you were going?"
Me: "I think 50."
Him: "no, 47 but the speed limit is 35." (I would think that honesty here would have gotten me somewhere!)

It just went downhill from there. I wanted to tell him that I was without the 3 year old and feeling free, no limits! But I didn't think that would go over well.
I thought about breaking into the ugly cry, but really- I knew that I deserved a ticket.

You would think that would have helped me slow it down, but no.
I have had to slam on my brakes on that road 3 times since because I keep forgetting that the speed limit goes down there.
I don't have a problem speeding on the highway, but going 35 and below seems to be an issue for me. If I could just drive 50 mph everywhere I go, I'm sure I would never get a ticket.

*** I was at the doctor this week with my son and asked him about my arm (we tend to make one appointment and them bombard him with every problem we have). I have been having alot of pain in it and thought maybe I was getting carpal tunnel or something. He did a few little pain tests on me and said that I have tennis elbow.
Tennis elbow?!
I've never even picked up a racket.

What he meant to say is that I am 40, out of shape and strained a tendon while using a screwdriver to hang my new curtains.
For the love of donuts, can you believe it? There is really nothing I can do about it, but try to let it heal. Do you know when I feel it the worse? When I reach in the top of my fridge all the way to the back to get out my 2 gallon container of cream for my coffee. That hurts.
I guess I'll have to lay off the tennis for a while too.

*** Took Lauren to speech class the other day. She is still in the evaluation process. The teacher shows her pictures and asks her to say what they are.
The teacher shows her a duck and Lauren says, "dut."
The teacher shows her a cow and she says "moo."
The teacher shows her a candy bar and she makes the (sign language) sign for Meijer (our neighborhood grocery store).
This much she knows, if we are out of chocolate, it's off to Meijer we go.
Yes, I'm training her up in the way she should go...she should go to Meijer for chocolate.

*** After speech class we go to McDonalds for lunch (after stopping at Meijer because I remembered that we needed chocolate).
Lauren loves to play in the playland there.
My goal is get her through 3 bites of her chicken wrap and 10 french fries before the shoes come off. The best part about playland is the de-shoeing.

A couple other things note worthy...

*** On Monday, Mitt Romney called me 38 times. He wanted me to vote for him on Tuesday. That was thoughtful.

*** I noticed a few more gray hairs this week, and you know what that means. That's all I going to say about that.

*** Lauren STILL loves the movie Elf, so I listen to it everytime we are in the car as she watches her DVD. Because we can not see it, only hear it...15 year old daughter and I describe what is happening in all the scenes and then laugh hysterically.

That's about it for me, I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
I love you, I'll call you in 5 minutes!

Sue

I Want to Talk About Me

Not really, but you keep bugging me about it! :-P

I have been sent several meme’s and always give empty promises to do them but never have. Although you must give me some credit for my 100th Post. I let you all ask me questions and you were ruthless! You asked, deep meaningful-thinking kind of questions.

Well, here’s some of the 411 on me….

1. Pets?
Yes, 1 dog (indoor) and 2 outdoor cats (I’m allergic).

2. Jobs besides being a stay at home Mom:
When I turned 16, I started working right away at Little Caesars so I could get some money for new clothes. I worked there for over 2 years and became an asst. manager.

Then I worked for my parents small Christian bookstore then I worked at a couple different health clubs teaching aerobics (it was the 80’s after all- leg warmers and all).

I worked at a bus company doing reception and office work.
(I got in trouble one day for abbreviating the word associate incorrectly.)

Then I worked at a Hallmark store in a mall until my son was born.
Since then I have not been paid for my work.

3. Favorite food:
Hands down, chips and salsa, I could live on them.
More of a salt person than a sweet, but have an undying love for milk chocolate.

4. Favorite drink:
Silly question.

5. Favorite TV shows:
Foxnews, anything- even the market reports and I'm very interested in politics, but I won't talk about it much here.
Although, let me add a disclaimer to this:
I have Foxnews on a lot, but I don’t SIT and watch it often. It is mostly background noise as I am working around the house or playing with Lauren.

The Apprentice- LOVE it! My affection is for “people watching” and insight into team dynamics- not for “The Donald”- but he’s funny too!

And Reba, I love reruns of her show. Oh that Van!

Yes, I’m a complex individual.

6. My middle name is Kay.

7. Siblings? One brother 2 years younger than I.

8. Perfume: J'adour
Lotion: Vanilla whatever

9. A pet peeve:
Radio jockeys that think I want to listen to them talk, play the music please!

10. I drive a gas-guzzling, 3 miles per gallon-diesel Excursion (the color’s not even green sorry!)

11. Favorite flower
Hydrangea

12. I met my husband at the car accident that killed his grandfather.

13. I talk back to my TV on a regular basis.
The TV never answers. But my kids tell me to stop.

14. I get horrible headaches if I eat/drink anything with artificial sweeteners.

15. My 17 year old son has Type 1 diabetes, he was diagnosed at 13 years of age when my husband happened to be in Israel. No fun! Spent almost a week in ICU with him and couldn’t talk to Mark until we were about to go home. Definitely one of the scariest times of my life. I remember calling my girl friend and trying to tell her as I was rushing him to the hospital and she just kept saying…"hunny I can’t understand you" as I bawled my eyes out.

16. I graduated from a Catholic High School.

17. I grew up in the city and we moved out to the country 9 years ago and I would never go back! I love to visit, but would not want to live there again.

18. I love Chicago though! Been there shopping several times and would love to go to New York City shopping!

19. Favorite restaurants:
A little hole in the wall Mexican place and a very fancy restaurant in Nashville that I can’t remember the name of!

20. Oh yeah, I sing too. I have done lots of weddings and led worship.

That’s all I can think of right now!
There you have it, me in a big nutshell.

Hope that satisfies enquiring minds, sorry I never did the meme's you sent me, hope this makes up for it and you still love me!

Edited to add: Susan reminded me...I was going to ask any of you to throw in your answers to these things too!!!!

Hugs,
Sue

Don’t forget to enter the January drawing!
Click HERE to enter the January drawing!

I think we have Trolls

I admit it.
I'm not a night owl.
By the time I get Lauren to bed, I could follow right behind her.

I usually stay up a little longer, but by 10 PM, I "start to turn orange" as my husband so sweetly likes to tease me about turning into a pumpkin. But he does tend to be right behind me!

Of course this means that I am up early.

Now...I know that many of you notice the strange times that I post ie: 4 or 5 AM. (Because a few of you have mentioned it!) ;P

THAT is because I have woken up and can not get back to sleep. Ah, 40 is a wonderful age of new and exciting opportunities!

Let me tell you...if I make it to 4:30 AM, I'm thrilled! I can deal with that! I get up and spend some time alone with the Lord and with YOU, and it's a good start to the day.

Sure, I could get lots of "other things" around the house done, but I don't want to wake anyone. So it's my quiet time. :)

BUT, when I wake at 2 AM and can't get back to sleep, it's not such a good day.

I can remember years ago (when I had 3 little ones under the age of 5 years old and I could barely get up in the morning to spend 2 minutes with the Lord) sitting in Bible studies and listening to these very Godly women tell of how they had been up since 3 AM the previous evening spending time with the Father.

That is wonderful, but in their heaping of guilt on this young mom, they fail to mention that they could not have fallen asleep if they tried!

However, back to my story, my (teenage) children ARE night owls. They can stay up quite late and then sleep until lunchtime if I let them. Which means that I wake up to all kinds of messes and "evidence" that I must lecture them on cleaning up the next day. But, who really knows what goes on once Ma and Pa are sleeping!

THIS morning, I woke up to a strange aroma as I
walked down the stairs and this on my stove:

Yes. A Jack's Pizza on my cooking stone with the middle eaten out of it.

I think we have trolls.

On that note, I hope you all have a wonderful New Years Eve!

I probably won't see midnight tonight, but I will be up early to post my new header and the details of my new Praise and Coffee giveaway!

Blessings and Happy New Year,

Sue

Just for fun!

A merry heart does good like a medicine,

so here's some quotes from Steven Wright that make me laugh:

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.