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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Teeter-Totter Marriage


A guest post from my good friend Casie Dussia, you can also find articles from her in our Praise and Coffee Connections Newsletter.

A few years ago, I met a friend for coffee that shared some very serious, private information with me and asked that my husband John and I pray for her and her family. I couldn’t wait to get home and talk to John about this and begin doing what we could to help.

Upon arriving home, I said to my husband, “Guess what?!” His response - “Chicken butt!” Not exactly what I was expecting.

It really was my fault, though. After approx. 13 years of marriage at that time, I should have known better than to ever end a question directed towards him with a word that rhymes with butt! You see, my husband is a big kid at heart that almost always has a smile on his face and a joy that is infectious to anyone around him.

His response frustrated me to say the least and I took my frustration to God. I didn’t understand why John had to make a joke out of nearly everything. There is a time and a place, and this was not the time for kidding around! Why was it that the very reasons I fell in love with him and married him in the first place were often the same reasons that I get irritated at times?!

Boy, did God give me a revelation!

First, He basically let me know that I needed to lighten up, which I wasn’t very excited about. I wanted Him to fix John, not me! But, then He gave me a vision that humbly showed me exactly why John was who he was.

God gave me a picture if you will, of a teeter-totter. On one end was John, on the other end was me. Other than the occasional slight teeter, that teeter- totter was completely parallel to the ground.

It started becoming very clear as to what God was wanting me to see - that teeter-totter was our marriage, our relationship. Because God created us the way He so wonderfully did, we keep our marriage balanced!

Why hadn’t I realized this before?! Instead of embracing our differences during challenging times in our relationship, I had sometimes wondered why we couldn’t be more alike.

I tend to be very structured, whereas John tends to go more with the flow. I am very determined and enter tasks full force and John seems to weigh his options and leave room for adjustment. If we weren’t different, it simply wouldn’t work! We balance each other out.

I still from time to time feel discouragement during those serious moments that John throws in a joke, but now I take a deep breath and throw a little smile God’s way, thanking Him for creating us so beautifully and uniquely and for helping us to keep our teeter-totter so wonderfully balanced.

Casie Dussia is a small business owner and a personal trainer that ministers to women’s soul, mind and body. She lives in Southwest Michigan and enjoys life with her husband John and son Jase. Casie is a team partner of the Praise and Coffee Ministry in Plainwell, MI.

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