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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Biggest Zit Video and Your Marriage

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Have you seen it? The biggest zit video. It's awful, truly awful. It shows a man's back and some of his "friends" lance this huge zit, and for about 10 minutes it continues to "erupt" over and over again. Just about the time you think that it must be over, it shocks you again.

If you haven't watched it yet, I am sorry but I'm not linking it here. You can easily find it on YouTube if you're interested. My sons were all yelling and screaming as they watched it so I had to see what all the fuss was about. It is so disgusting to watch and from what the people say in the video, it also has quite a pungent odor. Personally I think it is a staph infection and not a zit.

What does this have to do with marriage?? A lot actually.

When I watched the video I thought about how we let painful memories and feelings build and build in our lives. We walk around pretending it isn't there, but it's festering all the time and our spouse is fully aware of it along with most the people around us.

The symptoms are obvious, bitterness.

We spew it out everywhere we go. We complain about our husband to anyone who will listen. We rehearse the past and place the blame rightfully where it should be- on him. The bottom line is that we have an "infection" building in us. The longer we let it go, the worse and deeper it gets.

Ladies, if that is you, I pray you takes steps today to fight the infection with some "anti-biotics" or should I say "anti-bitterness" medicine.

A prescription for anti-bitterness:

1. Forgive
Let go, really...for good. Decide that you're not going to live your life through the lenses of the past. Put an end to seeing the world through the pain of past circumstances.
Col 3:13
Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].
AMP

2. Put an end to constantly reminding yourself and others. All this does is amplify the situation and make it "bigger" in your life.

Phil 4:8-9
And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you.
NLT

3. Go to the Lord in your quiet time and pour your heart out about the pain, asking Him to heal it. Do it by faith, believing that He is right there healing your broken heart. Then leave the pain with Him, stop carrying it with you everywhere you go.

1 Peter 5:7
Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.
AMP


Some of you (probably the ones hurting the deepest) will say that this is too simplistic, I can't truly understand how deep your pain is. And maybe I've not walked through your specific battle, but please don't think that I don't understand pain. I have walked through all these steps in different circumstances and I know that I know that God is faithful. He will heal your heart if you give it to Him. That is why I give you scripture, it's not my word or my experiences that matter, it's what God's Word says that counts.

Please hear me when I say that the "pain" that has become your closest friend is not your friend. It's eating you up, it's hurting relationships all around you. I pray that you will be able to walk in the freedom that God offers. He has joy for you that may have been buried for years.

Obviously, this message goes way beyond marriage, but let's start there.

I'm praying for our marriages,
Sue

9 comments:

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

I didn't view the video but have read about it as you explained it here, and it really puts bitterness in a new, concrete disgusting light. Thanks.

Rona's Home Page said...

I was given some great advice from one of the Pastoral Care leaders. Stop the "should of", "could of" and "would have". What are you going to do now.
My husband and I received that advice a week ago and I've notice a change in both of us.

Praise and Coffee said...

I love that Linda, a new concrete disgusting light...that's my goal! LOL

Very cool Rona!
Change is good :)

Lisa said...

Very nice and well put.

Anonymous said...

Wow, God is soooo involved! And He's working through you!
I read your post the morning after a small kitchen fire brought an opportunity to let out bitterness in the wrong way, when I was reminded of the scriptures I read earlier in the day, and now your post...it all fits together, I think I'm getting it...now I just need to DO it!
Psalm 19:14
"Let the words of my mouth ad the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight. O Lord, my strength and redeemer.

Psalm 139:23,24
Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxieties and know if there are any wicked ways in me and lead me to the way everlasting.

Smelling Coffee said...

Very good (but gross) comparison! ((I couldn't help myself - I went to YouTube and watched it - some of it -and now I hate that I did!!!))

One thing that helps me stay away from bitterness is that I made a list of things about my husband that are good (from Phil. 4:8) and I thank God for some of that list every day.

Thanks for always encouraging us in our marriages, Sue!

Jennifer

Mommas Soapbox said...

I haven't watched the video though I know many who have and wish they had not.

Great marital advise. It's so imporant to continue to work on our marriages, no matter how "great" they are.....

Mary Lou said...

You always have such a good way of sharing things with us and you always back it with scripture. From one "old" wife..thank you. We truly do need to let go of hurts in the past and not rehearse them to ourselves, our spouses or others. May He bless you richly for all you share with the rest of us out here in blogland. Blessings...Mary Lou

GrannySmithGreen said...

Just discovered your blog. It's wonderful and refreshing. Thank you so much!

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