Tears of Sadness and Joy

I will never forget this morning 8 years ago. I was teaching Bible study and I felt a pull on my heart to drop our lesson for the day and devote the morning to prayer. In fact the only thing written on my agenda was one word- pray.

As the ladies and I sat praying for the different needs in our families that morning our youth pastor came in and said "pray for NY, a plane has hit one of the twin towers." I admit, I had no idea what that meant, I was picturing a little twin engine bumping into a building.

Then he came in again, a second tower has been hit and they think a plane is headed for the white house, they have fighter jets in the air...then the scope of what was happening started to hit us. Our nation was under attack.

As the day unfolded, the horrors were made clear. I just remember thinking...the world has changed, everything changed today.

I will never forget seeing this, how far we have come:




We need to remember...we need to keep praying.

And then...I never dreamed that 5 years later I would be waking up in a hotel in Xi'an China. Nervous, excited, scared and overwhelmed at the thought of meeting my 2 year old daughter for the first time.

11:00 AM finally came around and we sat in the lobby waiting for them to bring her to us. I'll never forget when they walked through the door. I grabbed Mark's arm and said- it's her!
So tiny and frail. Her little face emotionless. The nanny carried her up to the hotel room and it was there that I reached out to her and put her arms around my neck for the first time.

She was beautiful, she was perfect, she was mine. I didn't let go of her the whole day. She had captured my heart instantly. I looked at Mark after the others left and I said, "I love her, I really love her."
She's never stopped capturing our hearts, and I've never stopped falling in love with her.

So needless to say...this day is an emotional rollercoaster for me. The news and radio make me cry with sadness but this little girl with the almond shaped eyes makes me shed tears of joy.