In my searching the internet to bring you great information on marriage I came across an awesome article, the whole article can be found HERE.
Here is the beginning of the article:
Five Communication Tools that Saved My Marriage
Rob Flood
We were blissfully in love and thrilled to be on our honeymoon. Then came day five-we had our first argument. That put us on a slippery slope moving swiftly toward desperation. Within the first nine months of our marriage, Gina and I were both convinced that we not only married the wrong person, but also were condemned to a loveless marriage.
One very tangible side effect of our difficulties was poor communication. I would ask, "What's for dinner?" She would hear, "I can't believe you haven't prepared dinner again tonight?"
She would say, "What time are you coming home?" I would hear, "You better get here and help me because you're never here."
We could not express anything we wanted to. We resorted to hurting each other with our words. We did not build each other up...we tore each other down and caused deep, emotional pain.
Quite honestly, we had endured so much hurt and hurting that we could not see any hope for ever communicating well. Our despair was overwhelming.
Click on the link above to finish this article.
I'm praying for our marriages,
Sue
9 comments:
Sue- this is fantastic- just what I needed this morning!
Blessings!
Karen
Oh if I didn't know how tough that first year can be.....looking back I'm sure they'll get a laugh of two, huh?
This is good. It is so easy to fall into the blame game. Words can kill and we let our guard down when we are with family...well because they are family and the ones we love most are the ones we hurt the most. There are so many things and words I wish I could take back. But thankfully we have forgiveness. And even that takes time.
Thanks for sharing this today. I needed reminding.
Blessings,
Darlene
Thanks for doing your research, this is a great reference article.
I appreciated the author's concluding thought on his first point, "By following the principle of first response, we were being called to take a poorly spoken comment and redirect it."
This will take a little work (and self-control) but the results are worth it.
One thing that helps tremendously with our communication is the simple word "intent". When we hear differently than what is actually being said we need to ask ourselves truly what is the other person's intent? I know my husband loves me, wants the best for me and would never say or do anything to hurt me. It's not him at all, so I can sidestep the frustrations of communication when I think or ask myself...was it his intent to demand, or make me feel this way...absolutely not, so I can smile and seek understanding with a much more clear and pure heart. Words can be so silly and tricky.
Love all your input!
Isn't it amazing how our words can hinder or heal? Great post, as always Sue.
Great advice we all can use!
Sue,
This should make you chuckle...
Please know men are finding your "Two shall become one" useful as well.
My LOML emailed me telling me what a great article this was before I had even read it yet!!! hahaha
Great job!
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